You should know I'd find out.
But thanks for taking the effort to tell me anyway, fuck it. Ugh. I'm so fucking frustrated with your timing and just you being you, but also at myself for letting it get to me like this. It's funny how incredibly impulsive I have become, thinking that maybe it'd help. Well not help, but distract me and maybe fill the void. Like how I pierced my ear, or the dumbfuck thing I did today (Ask me, you'd just DIE). I guess in that moment I thought, fuck it it's not a big deal. But my intentions were plain unhealthy and I am left wondering where the fuck it was I left my pride.
I think everything just boils down to the fact that I hate the general direction my life is going. Din is right though, it's a choice. Every time something happens, I self-destruct. I push the blame, I drink, I lash out, I cry, I think, I take it out on the ones closest to me, I get impulsive. It's high time I realize that it does absolutely nothing for me. I have picked myself up though, no doubt about it. I just need a little push and I'd start moving forward. It just needs to hit me that these negative acts don't make it easier at all.
It just needs to hit me.
Fuck what I said,
It don't mean shit now.
No comments:
Post a Comment