You are my magician

At which point is it when you know you've crossed the line between freedom and decency? Come back to me, I always will but never trust. You are a terrible other half, slurs a good friend. Tragedy. It's not about being told, it's knowing. Knowing my lifestyle is starting to get tired, knowing that it's taking a toll on me, knowing better. Knowing is never enough. Two nights in a row. Hey aren't you The Girl From Yesterday? (She doesn't know what's right, she doesn't know what's wrong) The best thing to do on alcohol: Run. Run my mouth.. but only a bit luh. I have got to be the biggest fuck on the face of this earth. Or the most unreasonable. Well being the one who waits and goes makes it up I should hope. I am undeserving, I guess it's time to lose.

Why don't you come to your senses?

You've been out riding fences for so long now

Top marks for not trying

Too much hype for too little substance. Everything's just been building building building up for the breakdown. The ones who weren't having fun: Worshipped. Hawhaw. Deleting me does not mean I stop existing and that my world stops spinning spinning spinning. Funny, I used to believe that it really did. I did not enjoy watching you leave. It really isn't until someone sits you down and shoots you in the face when you begin to arise from your slumber. I don't know if it's the scene or the lifestyle I seem to be outgrowing. For now I reckon. Hope? Actually I can't be fucked anymore. My lifestyle is no longer my priority, though I quite decipher what is. Not that I act any different now anyway, just to prove a point to myself. Vibes I can turn on or off. I guess I make lousy choices too. Intoxication. Impulsiveness. Youth. Excuses.

Cos you're smooth and you're wet,

And she's not aware yet but she's yours.

We're not coming back again

So I am currently operating on no job, no money, no clothes, (just Adam). HEHE. And now with my indulgent lifestyle being threatened I am filled with a sense of hopelessness and despair. Pride runs in the family and so does running from simplicity I now see. The moment everything falls into place we choose to run and focus on the imperfections. I am an imperfection. Yesterday's stint at an over-priced coffee joint awarded me with the space to breathe and to reignite something I thought I had already lost. Inking beautifully crafted words about a beautiful boy; I began to feel that you deserve more than I could ever offer you. Emotionally. I'm barely even doing anything about it: make it up. Oh woe is me. Moving on, I see we are all moving on to separate lives, separate loves, separate everythings from what we had years ago. I'd want you all to come back but it'd be selfish I suppose, so I'd just have to make do with this waiting. Consequence?

The best you've ever had

Is just a memory and those dreams

I am not going to regret posting this bitch

It's like you have a house but not a home. Spot on mother, spot on. How is it that after years and years of my existence they have failed to realize that the more they try to wrangle me under their unreasonable grasp, the more defiant I become. Defiant, I am fucking defiant and who could blame me. You're just a fucking girl. Well maybe that's why I'm so fucking defiant. Open your fucking eyes to the world that has fucking evolved around you and your old-fashioned train of thoughts and accept everything for what it fucking is. All you both ever do, all you are ever fucking good for is hiding behind your work and your wealth, pretending you don't see that we are all growing up and punishing us when you slip up and notice. Or maybe you should start from the inside and see that you were never good examples in the first damn place because in case you were fucking unaware, giving me money does not equate to raising me. But of course what the fuck would I know, I'm just a girl. Oh I could kill you with just half the shit that goes on behind your back in front of your fucking faces. And while one may argue that maybe that's their justification, the terms that are coming down and the warped theories behind them are getting nothing short of ridiculous. This whole life is fucking ridiculous. You want fucking public humiliation? Look around.

I've had it up to here.