The biggest mistake to ever make is to think that you're special. This applies to everyone and everything. I know this isn't the first time I'm thinking it but like.. why is everyone so cruel. Am I too old now to still be this naive? I mean, I know it isn't real and all.. BUT IT WOULD STILL BE NICE. I don't know who I think I am. It's a joke. I know I seem ultra butt hurt.. I mean I'm not, but I kinda am. LOL. I'm just torn.. torn between wanting a complete stranger to make me feel special (??) and doing the right thing. I wanna be a good girl, I really really do... but I also want to be special. Jesus. How old am I. I know I'm being a child, and such frivolous things shouldn't matter, especially since I know it isn't real. I know it isn't real. I know that what I have is real and good and true.. but I also want things I cannot have. This is perhaps my greatest folly; the inability to settle down. It's not that I don't appreciate it, I do, but it's fucking difficult for me. It's not even about people at this point, it's really just about me and the idea of having more. More more more, all I want is more. The situations seem to be getting really... farfetched. It's like I'm reaching so far for that idea, that mystery, that possibility. All I need is a little hope to latch on it, a little mystery to pique my curiosity. I need to grow the fuck up. Nobody is special.
