or nothing

back to reality

true romance

Just a glimpse of our honeymoon #europe2013. Glorious days flitting in and out of shops, eating our way through yummy restaurants, getting stared down as we strut the fabulous streets of Paris and generally writing over Paris 2011. Motherfucker. I can't believe I'm not even home yet and things seem to already be exploding. Home in one two three four days and I wanna kill myself. Nothing to look forward to but heat and reality. I love being in the UK where nothing is real, where all we do is shop and enjoy and pretend.

in this hell of a season

welcome back to the United Kingdom:

where nothing is real

what it means to fly

high in holland

NICE > MARSEILLE > LYON

French adventure #1 is winding down to a close. Last night is Lyon, a wonderful city that's like Paris but not like Paris. Yes, that was truly the best description ever. From the amazing and breath-taking French Riviera of where we could be and where I was to the bustling yet serene (yes that's the word I'm going with) city, I've never felt more lucky or more grateful. My mind is rattling with memories of.. everyone, really. I have waaaaay too many unresolved issues. Well, I guess I can attribute you to merely being the most recent one, right? See also: most troublesome one. Ironically, I can't seem to remember much about you. The images are definitely not as vivid as the other two. Right now, I am seething with jealousy and indignant and bitterness.. but I am going to blindly attribute it to pms (i hope). I want to be where you are and that makes me want to kill myself. Hopefully, our Parisian adventure will keep my mind off this disgusting case of FOMO and insecurity (seriously, this doesn't even make sense). BUT MOVING ON. Well, not really lah. Moving back, I mean. I don't know why you're fucking in all my fucking dreams but it pisses me off and I hate you #matured. How about no. See also: don't you have a fucking girlfriend or something? (I've had to say this waaaaaay too often lately and I want to die). Do not misread this bitterness for having feelings and what not. It simply stems from the bitterness of having precisely what I didn't want to happen happen. And on to the next one.. or well. The first one. It doesn't even matter to me anymore that once again you have disappeared, because the truth is I know you will always come back. But all these images of you and I have been dancing through my mind as I stroll the winding streets of this city. Strangely, although you are the furthest away in time and space, these thoughts of you leave me with a sense of peace. The only thing you could do for me is to give me something to come home to. But I guess, not this year sweetheart.


Take me to where you are and wha you've become
and what you will do when I am gone

FOMO

because what goes around simply comes back around