Do you still think of me?

I count the hours, the days, the weeks.

I skipped all my classes today (I've been doing that a lot lately). So instead I lay in bed,hands tucked behind my head, snuggled and comfortable under my blanket, listening as it rains on the tin roof and no, not thinking, but reflecting. Reflecting on the past week and a half; how I handled myself, how everyone handled me and how I should have handled everything. But in particular I thought of all the things that everyone said in hopes of providing comfort and assurance. And the same phrases and words that burned right through me kept coming back up. Ups and downs bi, it can't be rosy forever. You're a strong girl, you'll get through it. You saw it coming bi, you knew it was bound to happen. Yes, STILL. No you cannot drown yourself in alcohol, and no drinking won't make the pain go away. 

And I know that every word is absolutely right. I think I've come to a point where it's not about the issue anymore, it's about me. It's not entirely about what happened, I'd like to think I'm past being affected by that(though we all secretly know that it's not totally true). It's more about me and how I'm taking it cos I'm actually using it as an excuse for my life to go downhill and to be in a bad mood. It's about how it's left me feeling cos my self-worth has taken such a huge blow and I can't undent it. You'd think it's you, but really it's about me.

I've been twisting and turning,

In a space thats too small.

I've been drawing the line and watching it fall.

You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.

Watching us fade and watching it all fall apart.