To my number one.
It's amazing what a train ride in the setting sun can do. Watching the world fly by as you're snug in your corner of the public transport vehicle, calm songs ringing in your ears, thoughts meandering through. Ponder and reflect. Realize. Realize that I've been through so much shit this year, lost so much, grown so much. Realize that although people have been dropping out of my life like it's not even a big deal anymore, that there are people who haven't. Realize that I've focused so much on being abandoned that I don't see and fully appreciate people who are still part of who I am. People who still care, who are still here despite everything I put them and myself through. And then I feel this strange sensation.. and oh my lord I am grateful. I am grateful for the select few who are still part of my life, who show me that there's still hope and love and life and all that jazz. So I think, this christmas will be different. I'm probably the worst gift-giver in the world and I still don't think that has changed, but if you really believe that it's the thought that counts then this year's thought goes like this. Thank you for still being part of my life and accepting me for the wild dependent sarcastic depressing insert-adjectives-here person that I am. Appreciate! Unless of course, you're an obligation. Ha. Ha. Some things never change.
When I don't believe in love,
Why do you care for me?
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