You destroyed me

Leave your reasons on the bathroom sink.

I wonder, sit around and ponder. Contemplating, sorting, thinking. Trying to figure out what exactly it is that I feel. I always have an excuse for myself, blaming my mistakes on something, on someone else. But when you see for yourself a reflection of what you are and what you've become, that's when the enormity of everything really hits you. Cos it really is rather pathetic, I have to admit and I feel a bit like shooting myself but you know, shit happens (and I have all the wounds to prove it) But yes it really did hit like a ton of bricks last night how sad I really am and how much it sucks. Cos everything around me is just whirling by; time, people, change. Everyone's moving (on) and so am I but at a much slower pace. I think the problem is that I simply don't want to. I don't want to go forward, I want to go back. So I'm still here, wondering pondering contemplating, regretting reflecting considering weighing expecting wishing.. hoping.

Another night,

Another dream wasted on you.