Slowly but surely, I am losing faith in so many things. Got myself a brand new piercing, just a small one. Nothing quite compared to the stye in my right eye, cos apparently fucking up my left one isn't enough. While we're on the subject of congestion and coagulation, this negativity has settled inside my head and has nestled itself in the black space you've left behind. As my brother would say; Only you. Seems to have swept through my life like a hurricane, this one. My sudden lack of interest in people or well, boys is beginning to feel like a physical baggage. I have long given up on my period, which means I'm really just getting fat. Ugh. The only good revelation that came out of this week was saying nonchalantly "yeah I'm pretty much over it". Especially when I remember just how devastated my life was when it finally crumbled into the nothing it is now. Though I suspect time is hardly a factor in this race, it's the hatred that has polluted my view of you. Well, that's that. Hurhur. I feel like I've hit an all time low in regards to my view of love and relations. I never used to think like this but these days have seen me questioning the worth and fuck, even the honesty in relationships. Is it really what you think it is? The first thing on my mind. Doesn't quite help that it really was number one everything. As usual, I have come to blame myself for the way things are now.. which remains unclear. In some sick way, it is quite comfortable this way because although I don't have what I want, it also means I won't lose it again.
Don't feel, don't tear, don't kiss,
don't care, don't touch, don't want me
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