No Chemistry

What a strange week it's been.


Why, hello. Yes it has been strange hasn't it? School's started and stuff, so it's back to the god forsaken classroom with the same bunch of morons. And it's not bad actually. I mean, I guess you could say it hasn't been the best of weeks because i pms-ed like i've never pms-ed before. It was horrible.. I can actually think of three different people that I've snapped at right off the bat in the last two days. And yes I really do apologise for that dearies. Other than the excess of hormones, I don't really know what hit me.


And of course the weather's been a fucking bitch lately. I mean, seriously. I cannot understand why the fuck it is that it's so bloody hot. It's a gross kind of hot. It's humid, and HOT. I can't stand it. It's disgusting, we have forty people shoved together in a smallish room with average ventilation for six consecutive hours, learning. FUCK. The people in China ain't got nothing on this.


But then of course the days were peppered with lovely doses of entertainment. Hmm.. let's see, I ring bells, steal pads, cut queues and had my secret inability to spell revealed. We lyn(HAHA) has someone in class stalking her, Ethel owes me peanut butter chocolate, Abu studies like there's no tomorrow, Dode owns a ladybug, Pau spent $70 on worksheets, Jessie sharpened my pencil, Sonia gives me soft cookies, Pasu makes gross faces in public and Cheong spells lingerie as what.. lindaurie?! HAHAHA.. I laughed so hard I cried.. So much for being our pride and joy, eh love? haha.. (:

Oh and thanks for all the good luck stuff I got today, especially the lovely post-it from the four morons behind me... i LOVE it :D


Other than that everythings been icky. Oh yeah. I had Chinese Orals today. heh. it was.. hmm.. uh... I waited 2.5 hours to screw up for 10 minutes. It was embarrassing. Like, I kinda got mixed halfway through my conversation and the teacher had to explain it to me again. And this would actually be a very hilarious story if it wasn't the fact that it is my actual Os. And yes, I am very, very upset. But instead of blaming myself like I know I should, I choose to blame evil teacher Heng, who tried to talk to me. Along the hallways, she wished my back luck as I rolled my eyes and walked away. and THAT is why I will fail. Just as it was with Chinese Paper 2. it's bad mojo.


It's been a tiring week. I wouldn't say it was a bad one. It was just.. strange. I guess I enjoyed coming back and seeing all these morons. But school's still school, and learning gives me a headache. I wish I could brag about how much I've studied, but I can't. i wish I could say I've made some kind of progress, but I can't. I wish I could say that at least I can put Chinese behind
me, but I can't. Ha.




If anybody needs me, I'll be in my box.



But listen carefully to the sounds,
Of your lonliness like a heartbeat..
drives you mad,
In the stillness of remembering what you had

Forget yesterday

Hey stranger (:


School starts tomorrow. Someone tell me why I don't really mind. Haha.. and I haven't even finished my homework yet! Well, I'd probably be really cranky tomorrow morning actually.. Haha.. Well, i have to say that i studied more this holidays than I have in all the holidays combined. Hmm.. But then agan it's because I've never studied during the holidays before.. Haha.. ah well. No time for regrets then.


I'm watching 'Hottest 40 over 40' on MTV and I am waiting for Johnny Depp to come on. And if he doesn't. I. Will. Die. Haha..


What is wrong with Starbucks? On friday, sonia lily(that's ali to you.. haha) and I went to the airport to study and they kicked us out! like.. WHAT?! I was just there earlier that week, and the week before. So, I spend money there, and as soon as the more executive lunch crowd come in.. we're banished to chicken and biscuits?! What the hell man. There's even a sign which says "Happy Studying!" Uh huh. Sure.



HEY! Johnny Depp is #2 hottest 40 over 40!! YUM :D Haha.. Please. He's so much hotter than Demi Moore la. Haha..


Mmm.. School. Pffffft. I don't know what to feel. I don't know if I should be excited or irritated or nervous. I don't feel anything. I guess I'm kinda glad I'd get to see people again.. but then again I'd have to suffer countless hours of lecturing.. But then again I have three free periods tomorrow.. But then again, there's an hour and a half of tutorials.. But then again, tutorials might be good for you.. But then again, there's Chinese Orals coming next week?.. But then again we should really get started on revision.. But then again I'd have to wake up early..


Pffffft.


I wish I could make it better for you, even if you never think of me.

What's your verse?

Yeah yeah, I know. It's too late to regret.

"Truth is like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.

You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough.

Kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us.

From the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying,

it'll just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream. " - Dead Poets society

Trying to love a wild thing

"You musn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky. "





Yes, I am watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' again. Audrey Hepburn is gorgeous.. You gotta love the early 60's eh? Fashion then was just amazing. Mmm..



So yesterday was the drama comittee training thing at the HDB blocks opposite school.. Yes I was the only loser who wore school uniform cos someone conveniently forgot to tell me not to. heh, thanks. Haha.. oh! we were playing with a stray cat that eerily resembled the kitten we found when we were in Sec 1.. It was white with brown and black patches.. I think it was the same one too, cos I don't recall any of us keeping the kitten in the end. Cool (: Anywho, Din Buu and I made them play games and such.. They really are a lovely bunch. I hope we taught them something useful then. (:



I know I should be doing homework, but I just thought you'd like to know..



I: sometime wonder why the baby toe is called a baby toe.

But: then again, why is a toe a toe? Haha..

I am: craving Ham

Oftentimes: I sing songs that remind me of you

Who would have: thought that I was a cat person (:

My: toilet has a wall that is hot pink

There is: something seriously sexy about waffles, no? (:

Candy hearts(very aptly named 'sweethearts') :Make me smile (:

Not a big fan of: Ugg boots.

I'd rather: have iced tea than coffee

I should: really be spending my time more productively.. haha..

I had: fish and chips for dinner

Feeling: like having a Banana

No one: has seen Moulin Rouge as many times as I have (:

I think: coffee ice-cream is love

Who doesn't: think Johnny Depp is hot? (:

Why: aren't I on some luxurious beach soaking up the sun?!

Are: you sure it's already June?

Sometimes: I wonder what random people are doing at the most random of times.

If only: we tried harder.

I want: ice-cream!

Haven't been: clubbing in a while

I used: to think neurotic meant erotic. (it doesn't)

My: rubbish bin is orange.

Suddenly: I'm big on saving the environment (Reject plastic bags!)

A simple smile : can make my day

The most: breath-taking place on this earth is New Zealand!

Can't: wait til I get to go back to NZ (university-hunting?) (:

We're: trying to get tickets to Japan at the end of the year (business class no less) (:

My favourite: type of vegetable is corn!

I miss: oh. the lovely days in sec 2

Flowers: are fuN!

I adore: performing!

I: own one hat

You: were lovelier way back when.

I don't: take breaks, I give up.

My only vice: is coffee.

The ultimate indulgece: is peanut butter! or Depp! or Curry puffs! Haha

My: grandmother learns Taqi! Haha

I enjoy: watching Seinfeld

It's been: too long since I last saw a ton of people

Can't understand: why guys sag their pants

Hate it when: people wear sunglasses indoors (WAH, so bright!) Hahaha

Ideal guy: is thin, toned and tall(er than me). Tanned would be nice too (:

I can bet: my whole life would be different if I had more hair.

I: drink lots of juice

Haven't had: Macdoanalds in about 8 months

Right now: you're thinking of me (:


It's always times like these when I think of you
And I wonder if you ever think of me

Forget what we're told

I feel strangly unimportant.


So it's been rather quiet lately huh? Hmm.. Nothing much has been happening.. I made cupcakes yesterday.. Angelcake! They're rather.. interesting. Haha.. Yum.. I might be making back-to-school cookies.. If you're lucky, and only if you're lucky, I might make you one! If not then I guess you're stuck with canteen food after-taste then huh? (: Haha.. The ego on me.. (:


Hmm.. Did you know that if you ask the baristas at Starbucks to warm up your coffee, they'll just make you a whole new cup? Well.. maybe it's just the guy at the airport branch.. I was so shocked when he presented me with a whole new cup of vanilla latte! haha.. and I was already halfway through the first one! Oh my.. Starbucks is brilliant!



Mmm.. I need a damn holiday.. Being at the airport and watching all these people get all excited and leave for some pristine beach or some shopping paradise or just some kind of holiday... well.. it's not fair! I'm stuck here, having to study for the stupid exam and all that shit and they get to go away! ): Hmm.. Ethel's away. Tsk tsk. Haha.. But yeah, I really wanna just take a break, sit back and relax. Mmm... I miss New Zealand.. and the beach.


I know this might sound strange, but I kinda miss school too! OH!


Haha.. I have no idea what to say. I know I should be doing homework now. That's probably why I'm blogging despite not having anything in particular to say. Haha.. how incredibly unproductive.


I have decided that I don't wanna get a job after the Os.. Buu and I made a pact to save as much money as we could so that we don't have to work and party all day! Haha.. And then we can patronise where all you guys are working and we'll get discounts! (: Haha.. what a fantastic plan yeah? Anyway, I'll be too busy learning French and being that much closer to the Depp.. who lives in France! Hahaha(:


God I can't wait for it all to end. I can't wait to get out of secondary school and into the dark recesses of whatever-comes-next. I can't wait til I get to shop all day and party all night. I can't wait to start bettering myself. I can't wait til I no longer have to pour through notes for Science or maths or whatever else I abhor. I can't wait til I no longer have to suffer by eating nasty school food everyday. I can't wait til I no longer have to study chinese(!) I can't wait til Graduation Night. I can't wait til all the exams are over. I can't wait til I get to taunt my old chinese teacher. I can't wait til I get to go to the beach again. I can't wait to come back to CCA as a true alumni. I can't wait til I no longer have to wake up at 645 every godforsaken day. More importantly I can't wait til I'm no longer on that damned boat and when I start drinking tea.



I can bet 100% that when I graduate, I'd be reading this and laughing at my own niavity.


But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me

Never be lonely

Are we allowed.. to ask questions?


Yesterday Pau and I trudged to the Esplanade in very uncomfortable stilettos to catch 'Scared Monsters'. I was the chick with purple legs and her, the chick in brown with perfectly perfect hair. Haha.. Met her at around 6.30 after some complications with my stalking family(!) We ate at the food court with Britney Spears on instant replay in our minds(!!) Haha... And after I finally finished my ice kachang, we attempted to walk to the esplanade, but somehow got LOST! Well.. for like 3 minutes.. Haha.. I'm not trusting pau with directions again! haha..


The show was cool.. It was kinda really abstract and intimate. It was kind of like a fusion thing with live music and all.. The vocalist started singing in some strange foreign language that I thought for an instant was lithuanian! Hahaha.. Of course it wasn't. I tried to be smart and tell pau it was italian.. but it was indian. HAHA.. Don't even ask how I got there. Anyway, the show was kind of really deep. And I'd be lying if I say i understood it. Haha. Sylvie Guillem is AMAZING. Her arche is gorgeous you can see it four floors up! *swoons* Haha.. Oh right, our seats were..er...er... Haha.. we forgot our binoculars but there were okay la.




After that, we swung by Gelare and recharged for a while. By that time my black heels had given me blisters the size of my pinky and pau was dying of exhaustion.. We ate and confessed our very questionable musical tastes, everything from Elton John, Spice girls, Madonna and N*Sync(!!!!) HAHAHA.. Pau got a small waffle and I had ice cream sundae(regretably coffee) Oh! Pau also got a $2.50 can of coke.. and she was complaining about how it was the most expensive can of coke she had in her life and so..





*complains*
"So? Your waffle was like..7 bucks"
"....WHAAAAT?!?!"




HAHAHAHA.. ok it was funnier last night.

These are my lovely flamingo earrings (:

And these are my coral gams (:









** EDIT I forgot to add.. Johnny Depp turned 44 yesterday!!! :D EDIT**



Anywho, I've been getting increasingly worried watching time pass by ever so quickly. In another instant, the second week of the beloved holidays are gone. And what do I have to show for it? Er.. how about nothing? It's so bleah. I tried to do some form of work today and although I did, it was a rather insignificant amount. ):


I haven't seen a ton of people in a while eh?

Although I've been trying desperately to keep the notion of my very fussy future out of my mind, it's still there at the back of my mind, nagging at me to sort it out. And I just can't. Or I just won't.


Is this right?


I keep dreaming
You'll be with me and you'll never go

Still lying

I am back, prim and proper.



So here I am typing away with my perfectly manicured fingers. Sonia and I set off after a very fun very entertaining session of lit(jellybeans!) to City hall for a day out today. Had a two dollar feast of fish and chips for lunch at Raffles Place.. I hate the stupid donut line. It's so annoying. Everyboy should go line up for meat or something so I can try some of them donuts...mmm... peanut butter... Ha. Anyway, we walked to Marina and got a mani at ten bucks. Not bad actually.. I even got my cuticles in check, even if it was a mistake. So right now my nails are a gleaming coral, not quite pink yet not quite orange, which ironically, i still feel is the perfect combination. Anywho, I got a gorgeous pair of flamingo earrings at Topshop. Their brilliant! I also got a Junior Mint lip balm and candy hearts! The lip balm is scrumptious! Mmm.. After all that, we headed to Bakerzin and spend a rather impressive sum of money there. Yum.. Gotta love the warm chocolate cake yeah? (:





Yesterday was also a shopping day. Somehow I ended up at Suntec alone.. Think the Centrepoint story but at a different location. So I hit Candy Empire, Mango AND La Senza.. It wasn/t too bad yesterday, except for the rather unwanted encounter with Ms Chen. Don't bloody ask.



Tomorrow will be an evening with Pao! Haha.. We're gonna catch 'Sacred Monsters' .. We're on the fourth floor so.. anyone with a spare binoculars in hand? Haha.. It should be a good production. I have no idea what to wear, nor do I have any money left (I wonder why)



I can't wait for Pasu to come back so we can go see Pirates..again. Haha(: Actually, now that both Pasu and Ethel have gone on some holiday, I haven't really been Depping alot. Well, there's Buu and I who often argue about his hotness, but then again we can;t trust the girl who thinks VAN DIESEL is hot. erm.. EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. He's probably even older than Depp. Please. He's washed up. And bald. Abu, NO. Hahaha.. Too funny. But wait. I forgot, Ethel HOPPED ship! She moved on to Brad Pitt.. like... WHAT?! EW. He's BLONE! Plus he has FOUR kids. er...NO. Hahaha..


Oh yeah, Just so you know, I'm off the coffee. It's bad bad BAD for your health. It's nasty stuff.


Sigh. I suddenly remembered the horrific dream I had last night. I dreamt that I failed my Chinese Os.. and i was so frightened. I mean.. my tuition teacher went through the paper with me.. and I'm as good as gone really. It's horrible. I no longer believe in the ol' cliche that if you work hard, you'll reap good results. Because it isn't always true. I worked so hard for chinese, what with countless hours of tuition and even willingly speaking chinese and yet it was still my second worse subject, beating A maths by only a couple of marks. It's fucking horrible. And it's just not fair.


I haven't been sleeping well lately actually, thus the eyebags. Recently I've been waking up a couple of times in the night, thinking that I am late for school, only to look at the clock and realise that it's three, or six or seven. And when it's time to actually get up, I have to force myself up because of the inconsistent sleep. I've even tried to cut down on laptop time and come online earlier and not go to sleep directly after, but to no avail(sp)


Not to mention I've barely begun my revision. It's pathetic. The only thing I'm brilliant at right now is procrastinating. My mind has been so overwrought with thoughts that i shove the Depp in whenever something cringe-worthy leaks into my thoughts. Yeah it's not healthy i know.


I know.

I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me

So Stereotype Me

Hey you..

Now, I'm not normally one for daily posts, but I do feel the need. Not to mention my laptop finally has some kind of power so I am in the comforts of my own room and what not.


First of all, I would just like to very subtly establish that Johnny Depp is so. fucking. hot. Oh my god. He is so bloody sexy.. especially with eyeliner and all.. *swooon* I really hope that they will be a Pirates 4, simply because boys look pretty damn hot prancing about the screen in eyeliner and grime :D


Hahaha.. Yeah I reckon you've figured that I've (finally) caught Pirates 3 :D I personally loved it. Granted I found it rather confusing at certain bits, it was overall a brilliant flick. Plus, it was generally understandable, unless of course you're a moron like buu and didn't see the first two! hahaha


And as you would imagine, everytime the lovely Depp graced the screen, i got all excited and smiley.. hahaha.. too typical (: Din kept going on about how hot Orlando Bloom was. Ok. I must admit, that he is a little tiny teensy weensy bit hot in the flick, but only in scene sans Johnny.. especially after his prolonged absence! hhaha.. Oh come on, he can't compete and you know it Din! And he can't act to save his damn life, like.. Hello Mr One-Expression-For-Everything! And Keira Knightly, who is normally quite pretty, looks a little too manly in this film. Maybe she got bored of being the only girl and is suddenly trying to compete with the guys eh? Hahaha.. Yeah.. Johnny Depp takes the fucking cake and you all know it. (Although I must admit, he should keep his shirt on) Hahaha..


In fact, I think I might see it again! hahaha.. Seriously. Wanna see it with me?(:


So anyway.. Today was more of an impromtu thing. Greeted awake with HelloMoto at around 1015? Din was calling to ask if I wanted to see the film today instead.. and so we met at the God forsaken Tampines and caught the flick.. haha *Beams* And then after that Din went shopping and we sat at starbucks with a cup of passion TEA and chatted and revealed and frowned. Oops. Din, Bad taste(: Hahahaha..


And just so you don't think I'm some kind of giggly schoolgirl, I shall discuss things other than the wonders of the Depp. Like how incredibly inevitable it is for us to allow our parents to wash their thinking into us. Because for some reason, the great big wonderful plan is starting to make a fuckload of sense.


Yes, this is some fucking bullshit we're in, innit?


Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong

Trying in vain

And in an instant, a week is gone.


Damn. Guess who has once again been banished to this hell hole that is the computer room? Really, what's the point of the fucking laptop? Right so here I am amoung my imbecillic(sp) brothers who seem to be fawning over counter-strike.


The holidays are really not living up to it's name, with the exception of tomorrow when I don't have school. But that's only because i dropped bio. My other days are so congested with school(8 hours of lit anyone?) and other relatively unnecessary things.. can you believe i still have yet to see Pirates? Yes I continue to be deprived of the Depp!


I'm not in particularly poetic mood right now. In fact I am rather grouchy, despite the indulgence of a warm chocolate cake at Bakerzin. hmp. Oh yes! yesterday i went to chinatown with my family. It was too cool. I haven't been there in a while.. and i felt like a tourist.. it was funny. And today we went to Raffles city.. I think the nicest and/or most romantic thing a person can do for me right now is to get in the doughnut line and queue up for me and get me a dozen doughnuts! ...Anyone? Anyone? haha.. Damn.



There's been quite a bit of talk on my future lately. And it's really irritating me. It's just so.. real. I mean.. it's so like official. Not that I'm a commitment phobe, in fact I'm normally the one who has every single nitty gritty detail set out in front of me.. but this time it;s just too big a plan for me to even want to get started. It's just very intimidating. And yes I know we're all going through it.. but we're all in different situations now aren't we? We're all facing different pressures and different expectations and even different goals. So we're all in this alone. And it scares the fucking hell out of me, it really does.


I'm really irritable right now. I think I might just be pmsing.. and i think i really need to see a doctor soon. Dang. That's not very fun now is it?

Oh and Pasu? You're on that damn boat alone now.


So since I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing?
Nothing at all to you.

Well Excuse You

Thank you Din for taking that horrid photo off your blog (:

***EDITED***


My laptop is charging so I have been reduced to the black oblivion that is the computer room to use the icky desktop.

Sigh. Yesterday Din son and I went shopping. Well.. it wasnt as we planned.. we were very cruelly deprived of the damn Depp. Stupid public holiday crowds to blame of course. We should have known. So I still have yet to see the film.. anyone interested to see it with me? (:

So anyway we went shopping around instead. Well.. sonia shopped mostly.. it was long and tiring but fun nonetheless. It's funny how a caramel frapp and an almond crossiant can get a girl to thinking.. Mmm.. After a while we started getting tired and grouchy and so we decided to leave and go back to the supposed sanctity that is home.

Oh yeah that was just brilliant. It was just fucking fantastic. I go out for a couple of hours and i come back to find my entire fucking future planned out for me..without my say. In MY life. What the fuck. It was bloody horrible. So yes I did not have a very pretty night. AND I still haven't fixed any of it yet. God.

So today was presumably better. Had Lit and then Physics practicals. Hmm.. After that I headed out to Gelare where I was forced.. yes forced.. to study with my older brother. in public. ew. It was.. well.. err.. haha.. Well.. I did some kind of studying, compared to my very incredibly unproductive week.. but it was still rather useless.. he's so bloody distracting and lazy la. At least he had money. Haha..

I'm so.. meeeaahh.. aahhh.. eeeee...tsk. oh! You know those kinds of people... who are your friends.. but aren't really that close to you? And yet they keep msging you or calling you to ask like..what's the homework.. or what time is class and shit like that? And they only ever call to ask about stuff like that?? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... sooo irrritating... I so superly duperly cannot stand people like that.. it's soooo super annoying laaaaaaa.. Bleah.


Wow what an awesomely randomn spiel. Ha. Dang. I am drained. I don't know.. I feel very distant nowadays.. More than often I am plunged deep in the whirlwind that is my brain, thinking about how everything turned out, how everything will turn out. And despite my open acknowledgment I still find myself clinging on to the last shreds of hope in my seemingly delusional mind. And it's just so uncalled for, especially considering the way i am being treated in all of this. And just recently with the shock of being able to see my future, or my parent's vision... Do we really expect more?

I don't believe you know me
Although you know my name
I don't believe the faults I have
Are only mine to blame