What a pack of lies. To be honest, I've never actually really heard those words before, strangely. Not from a girl anyway, always from the boys but.. they're just boys to me. But to hear it from someone who always seemed to (be the only one to) take your side; it felt like a slap to the face. "She's just using you" - those ugly words sting like salt to a wound. A wound that's been left festering for years, gutted so much that it's barely recognizable as a part of my past anymore. And yet, it's still an iconic part of me, now. Familiar eye rolls and these pained empathetic faces greet me as I regale our night and hassle over my residual feelings. Here we go again, I almost hear. I might just be stuck here forever. Nobody gets to me like you do and you don't even have to do anything. Come and go as you please, take what you want, give nothing back. Watch as my harbored anger and resentment dissipate to nothing but carefree laughter over recycled jokes. At some point I found myself watching you as you animatedly shared a story I probably didn't even want to hear, and I caught myself wondering "why aren't I good enough for you?" I just don't understand. I guess above all, I just want to know what I mean(t) to you. Will that always remain an enigma to me? Much like the mystery that is your being. What is it about you? You and your imperfections, your perfect teeth, your strong bold eyes, your irresistible mannerisms.. fuck you. Fuck. You.
You know how time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
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