Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Now panic and freak out

Well now, you've truly caught me off guard again haven't you? Well no, not sonia. It seems that every time I turn around, you get me right in the face. Okay I can really be a handful and as much as it kills me to admit it, you are really handling me pretty damn well. I am a tough nut to crack and even more so to deal with. Turn your back for a few days and I've run off for a "change of scenery" and a huge bruise on my bum. Quite frankly, I am appalled at myself. I am not doubting the reality of my ex-isting situation but I still stand by what I said which is that, I will always pick what I have over... that. Whatever the fuck that is. Strangely enough, now that you've returned I barely feel the pang anymore. Maybe your lack of obvious interest is part of your way of dealing with it. I mean, I am giving you the benefit of the doubt here but.. I believe it. I want to believe it. I mean, how many people can sit there and listen to me instill insecurities and confirm fears so stoically. And I suddenly see your added effort to keep me up and I really do appreciate it. Although I still think some hours can afford to be spent apart + yesterday's sudden drought. Queer, I guess I just had my mind running all over the place and full of uncertainties. I know it's unfair to throw them on you like it's your fault you left on a holiday I just left on two weeks prior. I am terrible. Maybe it's just the swell of an enjoyable few days but I'm definitely glad you're back to keep me on my toes again.


something about lonely nights
and my lipstick on your face

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