Monday, February 21, 2011

You're guaranteed to run this town

School's out! Last chance for everything. As I always like to say, like that la. Hurhur. Fun & games. Maybe it's just the lull after the peak but I am beginning to feel not so great, as always. Sometimes I really think the over thinking and meddling attributes to a lot of the down. Also cos I end up feeling the most excluded. Ironic. See, over think! Hurhur. Though this time ain't so bad I guess. It's like an internal battle in my head; my cons vs your cons. I guess it boils down to personal victory? Lame. Then again, maybe it's just cos feeling a little lonely today. It's really nothing to me anyway and I'd much rather admit that it's me than be exactly like everyone else. It always gets too hazy for me to see what the big deal is. Still, I want to pick your brain just so I know. Just you, not what I hear or what I'm supposed to hear. Just to know what goes on in there and how it views me, so I don't feel so fucking one-upped all the damn time. Oh well. Chalk this one up to life experiences, I guess. Hmm. I can't believe it's still on my mind but really, how can I forget it? The way it reduces me... still. Ugh. Does this mean I'm not as heartless as I suspected? But I'm supposed to be fucking heartless with you, the way you were with me. Except it's always you and never me. I actually wonder if it ever even crosses your mind. I wonder what it meant to you. Then I wonder, will I really never know? Fuck, I think so. I've missed it and now I miss it. Ugh, how I wish you aren't the way you are. The way you always disappear on me. The way you always fucking leave me wanting more. I'm not fallin' in love with you...


Too cold for you to keep her
Too hot for you to leave her

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