It's too important to stay the way it's been

My point exactly. I just don't like to think about it, so I run and distract myself for days on end. Wondering about other frivolous things, and then one day wake up lost and wandering. I said that I would fight this time.. and I will. I'm just having one of those moments of weaknesses when I just think, fuck this. To be fair, I often feel this way even when I'm not alone. It'll pass, like everything else does. As I walk the familiar roads we used to pass through everyday, I can't help but relive and visualize every fucking memory it's tainted with.. and there are literally, hundreds. An infinite number of memories and li(v)es. I've pretty much accepted that it will be a long time till I am completely 100% okay with this.. with everything, the good and the bad and the fucking frightening. But that is truly in my nature, as demonstrated by example number one. I know I said I would drop it but I simply can't. I try to, I really do. Though the thoughts have moved from wanting to know what it means to simply feeling like something's missing. Greeaat. I am fighting this time, I am. I can't say it's been a breeze but it hasn't been as dark as I had feared. This fear is in my own head I know. It's really not too bad, it's really not too bad.

But i know it's too late

I should have given you a reason to stay