Thursday, February 17, 2011

Cos you feel like paradise

I can't get it out of my mind, the way I just can't get out of bed. The holidays are here (ish) and I just feel fucking liberated. If only I wasn't so trapped in the idea of you.. but well, I guess I tried? The last few days have just seen me obsessing over this one thing I simply can't get over. What does it mean and why did you do it? And more importantly, what should/could I have done? Aaah life. I guess it's over and what not sooooo I'm sure I'll come to accept it.. eventually. Yup, this has past over think and bordered onto obsession. The sad bit is that I've come up with every excuse for myself and rejected them all. I desire everything about you and suddenly, everything just seems like a sign to me. From the universe. Haha this makes me feel really stupid but I just can't let it go, the way I just can't get it. Sad face. The stupidest part = the fucking smile on my face from just thinking about this. Nostalgia in its finest. HA can't believe I am going to have to live with this again. By this, I really mean myself. Oh well, I guess I should be used to this being unrequited. My life. Speaking of which, I just can't even deal right now. The fucking selfishness behind your supposedly pure and good intentions is really putting me off. I can't be normal because I really don't know what normal means with you. Honestly, I just want you to be okay and I never say that about anyone. And yet, you seem to fight to make me seem like I'm fucking heartless. Maybe I've really just accepted being alone so much that I feel that everything more than that seems.. pointless? Or perhaps I'm just really okay with my life in this moment. If only it was you though.. (omg)


Can you lie next to her
and give her your heart
as well as your body?

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