Plugged in and ready to fall

Mostly. Why is there doubt that I am always right? Especially since I've petty much seen this bullshit before. God, I fucking hate these things. It doesn't matter where it is anymore because I've already seen it. Now... where have I heard that before? Sigh. This week seemed epic on so many fronts. To be fair, I always do these things to these people as well. Like turn to you when things get dark even if we're not close anymore. Still, it surprises me when the tables are turned like this. Intimacy over closeness? Not surprising however, is your disappearance. The most irresponsible one to date. Now I'm left hanging again, wondering. Wandering. And these words strung together to make me think that maybe.. just maybe. But my words as well, crafted in my head. It's all part of this mindfuck I have created for myself; a cosy island of nothing to live on while waiting for reality to take me. Yes... still. I feel like I'm always saying that. Hmm. Except this time it's not just my words or yours. I don't know who you think you are to say these things I assume are about what I assume they are. Or maybe I don't want to believe I am no longer the only one. Fuck. I should just keep myself on this island. Living is easy with eyes closed. Except it really isn't all that easy at all. I'm scared to think about what I would be without it. Moving on. The one night when we talked about everything yet nothing at all made me realize (again) how long it's been. It always boils down to circumstances and distances. Life-wise: Everything else just seems.. stale. Like I feel nothing but physical exhaustion. And the dull air that circulates in and out of me. And these endless thoughts. But who's fault is that?

If Columbus was wrong,

I'd drive straight off the edge