Baby, I'm afraid of you

Precisely. Quiet days like this one spent mostly by myself are surprisingly not so bad. Like my mother said: "School's good for you, you'll have less time to be depressed." Every thing's the same yet completely fucking different. For one, I feel a lot less comfortable. In general, it has also gotten to a point where I am only at ease when I am with myself simply cos it's easier (get it get it). I have a social problem but it's not new. Not to mention the rapidly disappearing slew of friends but I've just come to accept that. Our silence is so uncomfortable and fucking painful and yet it's always present. Is it really a nature thing or is it really just the (lack of) dynamics? I can't seem to wrap my mind around it.. or maybe I'm just so fucking scared to. Is what you need always what you want? I feel like I'm not desperate enough. I feel so much simpler nowadays.. but I know it also means I am a lot less fulfilled on an emotional level. And yet I don't feel lonely. Companionship used to mean everything to me. I am painfully neutral about all of this. Not to mention, really quite confused. What are we talking about again?

I'm so glad you have a one-tracked mind

like me