Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The constant battle that you hate to fight

I'll keep you locked in my head


So as I let my ipod dictate the way I feel on the bumpy ride home I reflect and succumb to my thoughts. For some reason I feel like I am drowning in people and I don't mean it all so literally. Perhaps I just need some space but hey I've been very space-y(Haha) of late, so I can't quite figure out what it is that is triggering this feeling. The feeling of being, excuse my crudeness, constantly gnawed at (metaphorically of course). Like every tiny action word or guffaw, mostly insignificant, plain pisses the fuck out of me. Especially the past few days, I have been overreacting to small things like laughing me off or never shutting up. Queer. Then someone said something and all of a sudden everything started crashing down on me and I realized that I am trapped.. in a box. Hahaha. I am trapped by everyone's sudden expectation of me to be someone I am not, to have a certain characteristic they were once fooled into believing I ever freaking had, to be emotionless. Fuck the world man, everything is moving so fucking fast I don't even know who I am half the time and out of nowhere everyone presumes I am who I was years ago? Lately I feel like every time I blink, I am in a different place, a different time, a different person. Then out of the blue everyone's expectations, perceptions and severe lack of empathy is trapping and surrounding me into a fucking box. Like what the fuck? I don't even necessarily like boxes. Maybe what I need.. is to be alone forever! Seeing as quite frankly some of my friends are really non-friends anyway. Hahaha. Shucks. This is not an emo post this is a huh-what-the-fuck-is-going-on post, goodnight. Oh and I need to find something to do this weekend. *scowl.


Don't look up, just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be.

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