Everything about this photo is wrong

I only feel gravity and I wonder why.

So it's been a relatively tame weekend, spent between impulsive shopping and futile attempts to even begin studying. Doesn't look like I'm gonna get through this one alive. Damn. My greatest sin is probably distracting myself with thoughts; cluttering my mind with rhetoric questions with no answers and seeking comfort in unhappy memories replaying in my head. No that didn't make sense, nothing does to me anymore. To me everything is just so fucking unnecessary, but that's all out of my control. I'm coming to a point where I just don't want to deal with anything more so I'm just not gonna, not now anyway. 

But yes other than that everything is looking alright I guess. Logic has hit and hit hard, but it won't cover emotion's tracks for long I can bet. Even then, the latter has gotten so tired of fighting that it can't do much damage anymore. But that might just all be in my head. Everything is just in my head.

Wow I might just be going insane.

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me

No you don't mean nothing at all to me,

But you've got what it takes to set me free.

Oh you could mean everything to me.

SIGH.

Yet I know the goal is to keep me from falling

Why does it always rain on me?

And Din too, Miss I-know-you-inside-out. And on my fucking poster which I have to hand in tomorrow at nine. Yes, it rained on my fucking poster, my hatred for old people still stands. I don't care what society says Dode, everything pales into comparison to the fact that they have made me their bitch. So has denial but that's a different story altogether, well okay maybe I was always denial's bitch. Whatever la fuck. Anyway despite everything, I feel surprisingly calm about everything, except for the imaginary gun I'm just dying to kill you with.

What you said when you left,

Just left me cold and out of breath.

I fell too far, was in way too deep.

Guess I let you get the best of me.

I'm putting my heart back together.

So you told her with a smile

I blog as a form of procrastination.

Say something to five people without naming names + a song:

1. Despite everything I'm still so proud of you and what you've become. I'm sorry for all the pain and disappointment I've put you through though you'll never hear it. 

[Good Riddance - Greenday]

2.Ouch. [White Flag - Dido]

 3. You. I never got to call you mine but it's perfectly alright cos our friendship means the world to me. And it saddens me to tell that we're drifting and that things are different, cos you mean so much more than I will ever be able to say. 

[Cool - Gwen Stefani]

4. Where do I even begin? I don't even know you anymore and I'm starting to think I never did. You're a fucking huge disappointment, I'm sorry I believed you. [White Houses]

5. Denial is a dangerous game. [Light up the sky - Yellowcard]

But you've come this far with a broken heart,

Yeah you've come this far and you're broken.

She has so much more to be happy about

I will your possess heart.

Excuse that, I was just having a bad day. And you know what, there will always be bad days, but it doesn't mean I'm not okay. I'm sick of this, using my situation as an excuse to fuck up. I'm fine and this time I mean it. I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking otherwise cos I only blog about the negative aspects of things, but I'm doing well. It's not about you anyway, maybe it was at the beginning for a little while, but soon I realized that the issue was me and how I chose to take everything. So fuck this shit. I take back what I said, cos I hate your fucking face and I never ever wanna have anything to do with you again. And the best bit is, I am perfectly alright with that.

We're fucking better off without you

I didn't need the pain

Just take it all away.

You know the feeling that you get when you sit on your leg for way too long? Not the pins and needles, but when you completely lose feeling in it. Then you get up to jump around, step on it, twist it to get the blood pumping right back. Then you get the weird feeling when it starts to warm up, but your leg becomes so sensitive that even the slightest touch sends the weirdest of feelings through your body. And yet the pain's strangely addictive and soon your leg is back to normal. Well I'm just waiting for everything to get back to normal cos right now I'm just numb to everything except for the pain and disappointment I feel.

I just can't believe you're gone,

Still waiting for morning to come.

When I see if the sun will rise

A girl like you's impossible to find.

I drink to fill the void.

Failure weekend; Screw Singfest. (Well, I'm just jealous I'm not there) Project work sucks, we've all just come to a point where it's not our priority anymore. Being underaged sucks, it's not even the first fucking time. Siglap's closing sucks, cos Parkway is so much further away. Exams suck, I'm sure you don't need me to explain. I just can't wait for it all to be fucking over.

I spent the weekend realizing, or well, seeing for myself, the impact that just one person can have on your life. A friend, an ex-friend, a lover, an ex-lover; particularly anything with an ex in front of it. Cos you never seem to know what you have till it's gone; or perhaps that's just me wanting what I cannot have. Anyway, I guess it really goes back to the gaping hole that they leave behind and how you choose to fill it. So maybe I'm not doing the best job, but I'm trying.

I think you know I'll always love you, but right now I really just don't want to have anything to fucking do with you.

So breathe in so deep,

Breathe me in,

I'm yours to keep.

And hold on to your words,

Cos talk is cheap.

And remember me tonight

When you're asleep 

I hate being single and I need a fucking drink.

And when it rains, 

On this side of town it touches everything.

Just say it again and mean it

We don't miss a thing

You made yourself a bed

At the bottom of the blackest hole

And convinced yourself that

It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore.

And oh how could you do it?

Oh I, I never saw it coming.

Oh oh, I need an ending,

So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

And when it rains, will you always find an escape?

Just running away,

from all of the ones who love you,

From everything.

You made yourself a bed

At the bottom of the blackest hole, 

And you'll sleep till May

And say that you don't wanna see the sun anymore.

And oh, oh how could you do it?

Oh, I, I never saw it coming

And Oh, oh I need an ending

So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

Take your time, take my time.

Take these chances to turn it around

Just take these chances, we'll make it somehow.

And take these chances to turn it around

Just turn it around.

You can take your time, take my time.

<\3