Hmm..
The past few days have been spent deep in thought, contemplating the meaning of life and the colour of jelly beans and what not :) I'm still oh-so-very confused.. and slightly disturbed and a tad fearful.
Yesterday was uber boring.. right up until pasu and i went to MPL.. it was bad. i do not enjoy that place. it irritates me beyond belief. we had a long rather unpleasant conversation. haha.. it's funny how ALL our conversations ends in us discussing lesbianism of some form. We made like.. 5 pinky-promises.. out of which i forgot like..3. OOOPS :) HAHA.. I had coffee and i blame it for making my stomach feel uncomfortable and making me feel cold...
I was really upset yesterday.. from fucked up results to unreasonable expectations, BAD coffee and out right dissing. THAT was really something else. SOO i wrote a poem! It's not that great but i think i shall post this here ANYWAY,..
The autumn leaves, they fall in pain.
It's getting darker than it should.
The roses in my heart, they pine
For your presence and how it soothes.
mmm... today was much better. My dad called the school to complain about the chinese teachers expecting me to do homework for BOTH band two and three.. I've almost successfully stopped thinking about what **** said about us and the coffee wore out. YES PASU. haha.. Din and i had half-price tuesday at Gelare and i saw an old friend of mine. (: We attempted to study as well.. we had counselling twice today. both were pretty much boring but it's kinda set me to thinking..
DAMN. I've been thinking a lot lately.
I need someone who really sees me
Ballet exam: 3 days
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Nothing but painful memories
Can you see me trying hard to be happy?
*edit*
I guess i can't avoid it.
People keep bugging me to blog. I guess I shall. We just finished 2.4.. i think i did well.. i definately passed. My plan to run the last lapse to inspirational music failed bcos my brothers pod died on me. bitch.
I've never cried this much in three days before in my life. I emoted so much I don't even have the strength to cry anymore. And.. I'm still not ready to talk about SYF without dying so.. just go to Anne's blog. but i will say..that i cried out of fear, out of pain, out of utter disappointment and the mere thought of never going back to drama again.
Which brings me to yeaterday. t'was Friday the 13th. Coolness (: HAHA.. yesterday..we went back to drama..ONE. LAST. TIME. It was scary.. but i know i must document this day. Let's see.. first, we were in the drama room after "rushing" after tutorials.. Din and I talked to the sec 1s about issues while buu settled others. Then, we got chased out by modern dance. It was kinda funny actually cos all the seniors, we were so aangry that we couldnt have our last session in the drama room.. not that we blamed modern dance, we blame the fucking PFA. they are BAAAD men. We then moved on the the study area after much(too much) complaining. Then we did warm ups(one last time) and i almost teared up.. but i controlled myself of course. :) then we played a game! We had to come up with a musical thing in groups of bye to the theme of goodbye! Yes, we basically forced them to say bye.. HAHA.. my group of Nic Shaan chin phoa and ANNE(of course) and I did this really fun collection of songs, emotion and hand actions included! It was GREAT! SOOOOOOOO FUNNY! then we performed and mel and rae took videos of it all. HA. I was actually going to cry watching buu's group..but then it got so funny i just couldn't. Then Vanjil talked to us and then we started holding hands,. and when she got to the part on how we'll be leaving.. EVERYONE started to cry... ALL the seniors quite a number of juniors actually. hhmm.,, justin sat awkwardly as we laughed and cried and hugged each other. Then we watched the Detention skit.. erm.. yeah. After that.. Justin started talking to us about us leaving and all that jazz :) and we got fogged out! HAHA.. they started fogging downstairs and we didnt want to die.. so we moved(again) to the hall. it was about 6.30 at that time so we gathered.. and initiTED the new committee members.. YAAAYYYY. i screamed and cheered SOOOO much for EVERYYYONE! Yes, miss JOY.. avoiding my gaze.. tsk tsk. HAHA.. I actually like FORGOT who was going to be my successor.. HAHA.. sorry la ROSIE.. i givng you money leh! HAHA.. Then we stayed til like 730 just talking to the new committee until we were chased out cos SOME IDIOT *coughrosiecough* kept her mom waiting for like OVER AN HOUR! Moron la. In the end joy sonia din and i went to starbucksfor a congratulatory dinner :) Some sec 5 girl whispered (very loudly) that she diddnt like me.. wow.i like..so care. AHA. i had a lemon tart :) AND u got a 30cents discount. Sonia was being racist. Joy was being emo anf d Din was being din.
So that was it. that was my last day of drama. EVER. I doubt i wilL EVER forget that day. Like the day I got initiated into the committee last year . i will NEVER forget that day either. In the ..4 hours yesterday.. i completely forgot my emotional disarray and just enjoyed myself in what was truely the BEST drama session i EVER had. that is..much llike the memories..somthing i will cherish forever. But i know i mustn't cry anymore.. i must be happy.. happy that i have had the oppurtunity to experience the wonder that is SAC drama, happy thinking of all the great times i've had.. happy that i got to know such wonderful people.. happy to know that i didnt go through all that i did for nothing.. and most importantly happy that i will always have the memories :)
This was from our fantabulous farewell party for Fran's batch. We deserve a FANTASTIC party too.. right Randi?!
SEXXXYYY. This was Syf camp :)
STICKS. :) Miss Kang called us the three hearts that day. HAHA..
SYF day itself.. ran to the chapel to take photos. Ihave like the worse posture in the world. Can you see me?
AND of course. our darling NEW president...
JOY! YAY. I apologise if i put you through much emotional stress and tears but i think you know i lubx euxxx.. HAHA :)
Do your best ok.. Be strong :) And you better keep your promise to me.
Dont be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
cause Ive seen the dark side too
*edit*
I guess i can't avoid it.
People keep bugging me to blog. I guess I shall. We just finished 2.4.. i think i did well.. i definately passed. My plan to run the last lapse to inspirational music failed bcos my brothers pod died on me. bitch.
I've never cried this much in three days before in my life. I emoted so much I don't even have the strength to cry anymore. And.. I'm still not ready to talk about SYF without dying so.. just go to Anne's blog. but i will say..that i cried out of fear, out of pain, out of utter disappointment and the mere thought of never going back to drama again.
Which brings me to yeaterday. t'was Friday the 13th. Coolness (: HAHA.. yesterday..we went back to drama..ONE. LAST. TIME. It was scary.. but i know i must document this day. Let's see.. first, we were in the drama room after "rushing" after tutorials.. Din and I talked to the sec 1s about issues while buu settled others. Then, we got chased out by modern dance. It was kinda funny actually cos all the seniors, we were so aangry that we couldnt have our last session in the drama room.. not that we blamed modern dance, we blame the fucking PFA. they are BAAAD men. We then moved on the the study area after much(too much) complaining. Then we did warm ups(one last time) and i almost teared up.. but i controlled myself of course. :) then we played a game! We had to come up with a musical thing in groups of bye to the theme of goodbye! Yes, we basically forced them to say bye.. HAHA.. my group of Nic Shaan chin phoa and ANNE(of course) and I did this really fun collection of songs, emotion and hand actions included! It was GREAT! SOOOOOOOO FUNNY! then we performed and mel and rae took videos of it all. HA. I was actually going to cry watching buu's group..but then it got so funny i just couldn't. Then Vanjil talked to us and then we started holding hands,. and when she got to the part on how we'll be leaving.. EVERYONE started to cry... ALL the seniors quite a number of juniors actually. hhmm.,, justin sat awkwardly as we laughed and cried and hugged each other. Then we watched the Detention skit.. erm.. yeah. After that.. Justin started talking to us about us leaving and all that jazz :) and we got fogged out! HAHA.. they started fogging downstairs and we didnt want to die.. so we moved(again) to the hall. it was about 6.30 at that time so we gathered.. and initiTED the new committee members.. YAAAYYYY. i screamed and cheered SOOOO much for EVERYYYONE! Yes, miss JOY.. avoiding my gaze.. tsk tsk. HAHA.. I actually like FORGOT who was going to be my successor.. HAHA.. sorry la ROSIE.. i givng you money leh! HAHA.. Then we stayed til like 730 just talking to the new committee until we were chased out cos SOME IDIOT *coughrosiecough* kept her mom waiting for like OVER AN HOUR! Moron la. In the end joy sonia din and i went to starbucksfor a congratulatory dinner :) Some sec 5 girl whispered (very loudly) that she diddnt like me.. wow.i like..so care. AHA. i had a lemon tart :) AND u got a 30cents discount. Sonia was being racist. Joy was being emo anf d Din was being din.
So that was it. that was my last day of drama. EVER. I doubt i wilL EVER forget that day. Like the day I got initiated into the committee last year . i will NEVER forget that day either. In the ..4 hours yesterday.. i completely forgot my emotional disarray and just enjoyed myself in what was truely the BEST drama session i EVER had. that is..much llike the memories..somthing i will cherish forever. But i know i mustn't cry anymore.. i must be happy.. happy that i have had the oppurtunity to experience the wonder that is SAC drama, happy thinking of all the great times i've had.. happy that i got to know such wonderful people.. happy to know that i didnt go through all that i did for nothing.. and most importantly happy that i will always have the memories :)
This was from our fantabulous farewell party for Fran's batch. We deserve a FANTASTIC party too.. right Randi?!
SEXXXYYY. This was Syf camp :)
STICKS. :) Miss Kang called us the three hearts that day. HAHA..
SYF day itself.. ran to the chapel to take photos. Ihave like the worse posture in the world. Can you see me?
AND of course. our darling NEW president...
JOY! YAY. I apologise if i put you through much emotional stress and tears but i think you know i lubx euxxx.. HAHA :)
Do your best ok.. Be strong :) And you better keep your promise to me.
Dont be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
cause Ive seen the dark side too
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Smallish Dreams
Bleah. There goes my long weekend :(
Just got back from Centrepoint. (Like who goes there anymore?) haha.. I went shopping! I got new underwear! I am happy. OH! I also went to Starbucks and am now a proud owner of the pink valentine's day tumbler! YES! My tumble-based dreams have been fulfiled! Now to move on to BIGGER and BETTER things, like my SUNGLASSES-based dream! I will one day own those sexxxxyyy sunglasses I saw.. mmmmm... Interested in lending me $30?
Haha.. i did like..nothing all weekend and im feeling horrid. AGAIN. Ballet was trash yesterday. I was so thrown off by my evil asshole contacts that i died . this sucks. Only two more sessions left. What am i gonna do with myself? *sigh* I;m really not ready. I mean.. i;m not even just saying it this time, i actually mean it, Im actualy scared. Everything is on standstill.
Concert band's SYF is tomorrow. good luck girls! Which leads me..(yes..ONCE AGAIN)..to..
DRAMA! Just scroll down for those who are sick of listening to me whine. RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! SYF is coming SOO soon. and we're still not there yet. This is cutting it WAAY to close. Our stick scene is currently in a huge ass mess. So many changes. we have to go back to school early tomorrow to practice and add mel in. Hmm.. I hope ms kang doesnt like..forget about us. Strangely enough, i'm not feeling that excited or even nervous about it. Right now, i just wanna get it over and done with, which is NOT what drama is about. it's about.. wanting it, the hunger for the spotlight, the moments we have on stage. I guess I'm full. This is highly odd. All i can imagine when i think of the whole thing is.. the aftermath, how we might be crying and dying, and not being on stage and all. *sigh*I just hope we get it spot on. I still can't deliver this line properly "Yeah perhaps that was her. Maybe she got so tired of being bullied everyday that she just..ran away" Sounds easy righT? But apparently i slur my words and i dont punch out the correct words. I feel like a moron ): Oh, and in case I don't have time.. i would just like to say Good luck to everyother cca and congrats for those that have already gone. And to drama SYF, Keep working at it, just keep that determination we have now and don't stop, dont give up. We can do it. I'm sure we can.
Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try.
SYF: 2 DAYS
Sessions left: 1
Ballet exam: 11 DAYS
Sessions left:2
Just got back from Centrepoint. (Like who goes there anymore?) haha.. I went shopping! I got new underwear! I am happy. OH! I also went to Starbucks and am now a proud owner of the pink valentine's day tumbler! YES! My tumble-based dreams have been fulfiled! Now to move on to BIGGER and BETTER things, like my SUNGLASSES-based dream! I will one day own those sexxxxyyy sunglasses I saw.. mmmmm... Interested in lending me $30?
Haha.. i did like..nothing all weekend and im feeling horrid. AGAIN. Ballet was trash yesterday. I was so thrown off by my evil asshole contacts that i died . this sucks. Only two more sessions left. What am i gonna do with myself? *sigh* I;m really not ready. I mean.. i;m not even just saying it this time, i actually mean it, Im actualy scared. Everything is on standstill.
Concert band's SYF is tomorrow. good luck girls! Which leads me..(yes..ONCE AGAIN)..to..
DRAMA! Just scroll down for those who are sick of listening to me whine. RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! SYF is coming SOO soon. and we're still not there yet. This is cutting it WAAY to close. Our stick scene is currently in a huge ass mess. So many changes. we have to go back to school early tomorrow to practice and add mel in. Hmm.. I hope ms kang doesnt like..forget about us. Strangely enough, i'm not feeling that excited or even nervous about it. Right now, i just wanna get it over and done with, which is NOT what drama is about. it's about.. wanting it, the hunger for the spotlight, the moments we have on stage. I guess I'm full. This is highly odd. All i can imagine when i think of the whole thing is.. the aftermath, how we might be crying and dying, and not being on stage and all. *sigh*I just hope we get it spot on. I still can't deliver this line properly "Yeah perhaps that was her. Maybe she got so tired of being bullied everyday that she just..ran away" Sounds easy righT? But apparently i slur my words and i dont punch out the correct words. I feel like a moron ): Oh, and in case I don't have time.. i would just like to say Good luck to everyother cca and congrats for those that have already gone. And to drama SYF, Keep working at it, just keep that determination we have now and don't stop, dont give up. We can do it. I'm sure we can.
Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try.
SYF: 2 DAYS
Sessions left: 1
Ballet exam: 11 DAYS
Sessions left:2
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Guess who?
Due to incredible boredom, I shall like.. blog again. It;s like, one o clock, and I've got ballet at two thirty so there really isnt much i can do in such a small space of time.
Just got back from Drama, Ethel and I worked on our bits with ms kang and mr Ng for two full hours. it could have one on even longer if ethel didnt have to leave. I never knew there could be so much depth and defination for such a shallow and somewhat superficial role. wow, what a juxtaposition. Hmm.. I'm glad we went today, there really was A LOT of work being done, i dont think we've dissected our roles so much before. YAY! we are slowly, but surely, getting there. The sticks have to come back early on monday though, to work with ms kang cos Mel couldnt make it today. Dang.
My tummy feels weird, and i really don't think it was my lunch. I'm so tired. Tired of everything, tired of trying, tired of the chaos, tired of the stress, tired of the pressure, tired of the impact that it has on my life. No, im not talking about drama. I am, however, tired of having to constantly remind myself that it will soon be over and to cherish every single moment, because i can't. I still can't grasp the fact that it will soon be over. But it's not just that. it's EVERYTHING. Today i found out something, that i had been left out of some form of thing, and you know what? Im not hurt, I'm not angry... i'm not even surprised! I'm.... okay with it.. because truthfully, i would have turned down the invitation anyway, citing some crappy form of excuse. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that i care anymore, because i don't. After it's all over, that's just about the end of us. I'm not even going to try anymore, because it suddenly hit me, that you really ARE a two-faced bitch. Try as you may to put yourself out as a generous nice GENUINE person, but.. it's not working out for you. People know what you;re really like, I know what you're like, and most importantly..you know. And that's all that matters.
Hmm.. Got this off Seventeen
1) Bitter Frenemy :- She takes delight in hearing about the failures of others, but when faced with her own set of problems, always puts the blame on someone else and wants everybody to take pity on her.
2) Competitive Frenemy:- Most of us would have encountered such a frenemy at some point in our lives- the one who's determined to be better off than you in all ways possible. Don't expect her to acknowledge your accomplishments. To her, you probably had it easy or just got lucky. But if she beats you in something, she'd shove her success down your throat.
3) Self-absorbed Frenemy:- The self-absorbed frenemy is not interested in surrounding herself with friends, but rather, fans, who would be more happy to hear her talk only about herself. She's known to break promises, forget important things about you. but suddenly becomes your best friend when your help or company is needed.
Sounds failiar? :)
SYF: 3 days
Drama sessions left: 1
Ballet exam: 8 days
Sessions Left:3
Just got back from Drama, Ethel and I worked on our bits with ms kang and mr Ng for two full hours. it could have one on even longer if ethel didnt have to leave. I never knew there could be so much depth and defination for such a shallow and somewhat superficial role. wow, what a juxtaposition. Hmm.. I'm glad we went today, there really was A LOT of work being done, i dont think we've dissected our roles so much before. YAY! we are slowly, but surely, getting there. The sticks have to come back early on monday though, to work with ms kang cos Mel couldnt make it today. Dang.
My tummy feels weird, and i really don't think it was my lunch. I'm so tired. Tired of everything, tired of trying, tired of the chaos, tired of the stress, tired of the pressure, tired of the impact that it has on my life. No, im not talking about drama. I am, however, tired of having to constantly remind myself that it will soon be over and to cherish every single moment, because i can't. I still can't grasp the fact that it will soon be over. But it's not just that. it's EVERYTHING. Today i found out something, that i had been left out of some form of thing, and you know what? Im not hurt, I'm not angry... i'm not even surprised! I'm.... okay with it.. because truthfully, i would have turned down the invitation anyway, citing some crappy form of excuse. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that i care anymore, because i don't. After it's all over, that's just about the end of us. I'm not even going to try anymore, because it suddenly hit me, that you really ARE a two-faced bitch. Try as you may to put yourself out as a generous nice GENUINE person, but.. it's not working out for you. People know what you;re really like, I know what you're like, and most importantly..you know. And that's all that matters.
Hmm.. Got this off Seventeen
1) Bitter Frenemy :- She takes delight in hearing about the failures of others, but when faced with her own set of problems, always puts the blame on someone else and wants everybody to take pity on her.
2) Competitive Frenemy:- Most of us would have encountered such a frenemy at some point in our lives- the one who's determined to be better off than you in all ways possible. Don't expect her to acknowledge your accomplishments. To her, you probably had it easy or just got lucky. But if she beats you in something, she'd shove her success down your throat.
3) Self-absorbed Frenemy:- The self-absorbed frenemy is not interested in surrounding herself with friends, but rather, fans, who would be more happy to hear her talk only about herself. She's known to break promises, forget important things about you. but suddenly becomes your best friend when your help or company is needed.
Sounds failiar? :)
I'm perfectly okay.
Drama sessions left: 1
Ballet exam: 8 days
Sessions Left:3
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Yayness
HEY HO.
This was actually quite an odd week. Today was a funny day. like.. a LOT of bad things happened, but i was in a good mood, so everything seemed pretty funny.. Like when i thought dode fucked up the computer in CME class and lost all our work. Turns out the moron just disconnected some wire thing. OR when i fucked up my a maths test really REALLY bad, it was pretty pathetically amusing coz my answers were so far off it was FUNNY. Oh, and like, buu got her arm STUCK in between the window grills, it was fucking hysterical, she looked like some odd form of animal trying to rescue it's paw from the evil clutches of METAL! ORwhen i fucked up the chem test, hmm.. nothing funny about that, but like the great energy coming from cheong and buu (Y to the U to the P)just made it better. OR even when i had to talk to the fucking Chinese HOD, I am now a member of the Band two class, but i dont have enough energy to go into detail about the fucked up chinese teacher conspiracy that goes on behind our backs.
RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! That bitch of a Joy BANNED me from tagging her tagboard. *pout* Asshole. I shall find MORE bad pictures to put up of you! Oh yeah, I know something you don't know. :) ANYWAY, i was supposed to abuse the fear that the sec ones have for me today by talking to them about certain issues with Din but they left. HMMM... now i have to do it on monday. Dang. I miss Drama, and i haven't even left yet. Hmm.. We're coming back again on Saturday. VOLUNTARILY! WHOOT! I guess the pressure of Indian Dance's achievment is starting to get to us. On the bright side, we're really improving, attitude-wise, EVERYTHING. Let me have an Anne moment, YAYNESS! Haha. oh my god, i got called like..a mini-cheong today by poseur-jock. it was gross. and i am disturbed. and it is odd. i can't accept it. I can spell better than that. HAHA..
I just reread what I just typed. I don't think I;ve been in this good a mood for a long time. and i don't know why. But i like it. It;s fun! This was such a candid post. I just typed whatever I felt. It's quite random. I barely understand.
The pressure is ON.
SYF: 5 DAYS
Drama Sessions left: 3
I MISS YOU.
This was actually quite an odd week. Today was a funny day. like.. a LOT of bad things happened, but i was in a good mood, so everything seemed pretty funny.. Like when i thought dode fucked up the computer in CME class and lost all our work. Turns out the moron just disconnected some wire thing. OR when i fucked up my a maths test really REALLY bad, it was pretty pathetically amusing coz my answers were so far off it was FUNNY. Oh, and like, buu got her arm STUCK in between the window grills, it was fucking hysterical, she looked like some odd form of animal trying to rescue it's paw from the evil clutches of METAL! ORwhen i fucked up the chem test, hmm.. nothing funny about that, but like the great energy coming from cheong and buu (Y to the U to the P)just made it better. OR even when i had to talk to the fucking Chinese HOD, I am now a member of the Band two class, but i dont have enough energy to go into detail about the fucked up chinese teacher conspiracy that goes on behind our backs.
RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! That bitch of a Joy BANNED me from tagging her tagboard. *pout* Asshole. I shall find MORE bad pictures to put up of you! Oh yeah, I know something you don't know. :) ANYWAY, i was supposed to abuse the fear that the sec ones have for me today by talking to them about certain issues with Din but they left. HMMM... now i have to do it on monday. Dang. I miss Drama, and i haven't even left yet. Hmm.. We're coming back again on Saturday. VOLUNTARILY! WHOOT! I guess the pressure of Indian Dance's achievment is starting to get to us. On the bright side, we're really improving, attitude-wise, EVERYTHING. Let me have an Anne moment, YAYNESS! Haha. oh my god, i got called like..a mini-cheong today by poseur-jock. it was gross. and i am disturbed. and it is odd. i can't accept it. I can spell better than that. HAHA..
I just reread what I just typed. I don't think I;ve been in this good a mood for a long time. and i don't know why. But i like it. It;s fun! This was such a candid post. I just typed whatever I felt. It's quite random. I barely understand.
The pressure is ON.
SYF: 5 DAYS
Drama Sessions left: 3
I MISS YOU.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
D-R-A-M-A
I shall let the photos speak for themselves :)
Anne and I almost, yet not quite, sucking face.
Ethel and I. Note that the centre parting is GONE! :)
Rosie, Joy and Anne. OH! EW!
Yeah.. sometimes i like to think I'm paris hilton. Notice i have perfected the posture.
Me, Rah and Nic
I am confused by Anne's enthusiam for Lemon Barly
GUESS WHO?!
I'm not too sure what she's trying to do here. Joel should see this.
This is abu's 'I'm-coming-for-you' face.
The truth is out. Mel is actually a sec one boy!!
OK... wait for it.
wait for it..
wait for it...
Anne and I almost, yet not quite, sucking face.
Ethel and I. Note that the centre parting is GONE! :)
Rosie, Joy and Anne. OH! EW!
Yeah.. sometimes i like to think I'm paris hilton. Notice i have perfected the posture.
Me, Rah and Nic
I am confused by Anne's enthusiam for Lemon Barly
GUESS WHO?!
No rachael..NO..
I'm not too sure what she's trying to do here. Joel should see this.
This is abu's 'I'm-coming-for-you' face.
The truth is out. Mel is actually a sec one boy!!
OK... wait for it.
wait for it..
wait for it...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
This is joy at age 80.
This is my revenge for that god-awful photo you put up of me on YOUR blog.
I am happy. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)