Nothing feels certain nowadays. Last weekend was.. eventful to say the least. Much more interesting than this one spent studying. Where to begin... It's just too difficult to be a girl, even if it's a bro-girl like I believe I am. It's not that girls are "always at the losing end" as my parents would put it (cue eye roll) but because we tend to place more importance in things than boys do. For example, I am perhaps the worst kind of girl there is but deep down, lots of things (ie boys) matter to me. Even if it's in the smallest possible way. A much needed girls night really showed me that I am probably no more of a boy than any one else is, whatever that means. On one hand, I do admire when people love more than they should because I don't feel capable of that (until it's too late of course ha ha) at this age. But on the other hand, I question the point of it all. Maybe I'm too jaded for my own good but nowadays, I just don't see the value in loving somebody. Life is hard enough as it is without having the burden of love and slavery or worse, heartbreak. When you're young, life moves too fast for anything to catch up. The last three years went by in a flash and I obviously still feel the way I do. While it is often unbearable, I also find a strange comfort in the way I adore you. Oh well. Lately, it seems that the weirdest mix of people have been jumbled up in my mind. I don't want to anger myself tryna write about how much I hate him so I shall just say that although most of the time he's truly infuriating, I'm always consoled by the thought of his obsession. #psychoexgf. For a moment there, I almost typed loyalty but one can't ever be certain about that. If I catch him, this motherfucker is dead. #psychoexgf. Moving on. People have been on my mind for no reason lately.Clearly, I'm still too young to be making and regretting rational decisions.. MEH.Keep my trousers, stay in bed and read the good things,
I'm afraid, now you're lonely
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