Let's begin this with a clarification that this post, the previous post and all posts from here forth are not about you. Just saying. Ugh. SO much frustration but it really boils down to just, you know what who gives a fuck. To be honest, I was getting a little bored of the drama-free life but you know that never lasts long. Because somehow, I'll end up walking into (or right past) another drama. Wish you could've seen my face literally transform from hmm-looks-familiar to omg-yooouuu-omg-run. Hurhur. I guess it isn't a big deal but well. I think I've forgiven myself and anyway I'm not going to go down that slippery slope. It just hasn't been... real in a fucking long time. All it's really been is just a story or a really insensitive, inappropriate joke. And suddenly it is right up in my face. Jeez. I really wonder where these people get off with saying these things but I know it's partially my fault as well. As always. The worse part is I honestly think I am just as conceited as these bastards, if not more. Just that I am way too prideful to even rub it in anyone's face. Well, not in that manner anyway. The difference is that although I'm egoistic and arrogant as fuck, I still have all these really irritating feelings and I still get affected by the shit I do. Thus the need to rant in cyberspace, therefore resulting in the "profound impact on my life". If that means I've lost then fine, I don't want to partake in your lame game anyway. Ugh. My goodness, do I have a bad eye for these boys or what? Perhaps the biggest question to come out of this is: how come I can't tell that from the start? Ugh. Sadly, I really did think you were cute, though that was literally years ago. Thanks for the reminder that it was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. Sigh. No, I'm not gonna do guilt trip thing to myself again, not this time.
We've got to find other ways
to make it alone
and keep a straight face
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