Don't talk to me of love, let's talk of Paris

I sorely wish. I am literally about to fly off to fairy tale land in six hours and I am not only unpacked but am slumped in my bed and moping. Some things I have accepted as karma but still irks me to think about. Honestly, I am glad it bruised my ego the way it did, it was getting too much to handle. I needed to be knocked off my own pedestal anyway. Victory is truly in the mind and I am letting this one go because it is unhealthy and a pure waste of time. If only I could say it and mean it about the other one though. Aaah the game has change so much I don't even know what we're playing anymore. If it is at all. It pains me to be the one on this end. I hate being a creepy boy :/ Ugh. I know I am not the only one who wonders why I still feel this way and for some reason, I can't quite explain it either. This is precisely why I didn't do anything in the first place, hoping to leave it and (eventually) accept it. Yes, I have past over think and past obsession, I know I know. What to do? Actually. Why am I the one at the losing end? Do you not have any feelings like.. at all? U sux. There is no other expression for it. I just want to get away from it all and be in fairy tale land with bags and wallets and what not ):

I'm one of your talking wounded.
I'm a hostage. I'm maroonded.