Grrrls Night Out. I suppose you could say I had more than what was.. allowed. Vicious intentions accompanying a competition I quite frankly detest. I think I hate you and everything I am becoming. Pulling in and out and hating every second of it left me wondering what the fuck it was we were trying to pull. Have I (finally) disappointed you like I have done so with everyone else? This week has been nothing but me falling short; numbers, esteem and my everything. It has also served as a glaring reminder that I am without the only one who would actually be impressed by my mediocracy and lackluster performance. Ah screw that, expecting is in everybody's nature.. as it is in mine. Exactly, so have I? Or will I be given yet another opportunity to fuck up with these strategic thoughts frolicking in my head? I only play defense if you don't seem to have noticed. Rueing the day my thoughts leave me stranded is not as good as actually doing something about it, because I am sure and scared as hell now. I have not felt safe in days and I don't want to get used to it.
I jumped across for you.
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