I am spoilt.
I've recently began to wonder if it's about time I made things right with everyone. It's always difficult to pinpoint the exact moment that one feels at ease with themselves and the pain that they've been put through so how do you just know? A one-off conversation with my mother about the direction my life is going seem to have shed some light on my state of mind. Being able to comfortably bring up people and issues without the worry of being judged or having someone jump to the conclusion that I am bitter and resentful is a refreshing change. Because I am relatively sure of how I feel but being trapped in this box of expectations to be angry and sour always sways my point of view. I guess that's my own fault and that's how my family is useful in that sense. That and buying me things! Haha(: Well aside from that I often wonder what will happen somewhere in the near future. Last night while on coffee I lay in bed and wondered what would happen should I fake smile and make everything okay.. and well, I can't even tell. Let's just be frank here, I'm not the best person. I have a huge ego and I am stubborn as fuck. And should I by some miracle put all that aside for the sake of argument, the question of me not being able to forgive everything and the fact that I am never satisfied with what I have will always arise. We're not kidding anyone here, there is not a single shred of hatred in me; no love either but definitely no hate. It's really not a dilemma per say, just.. food for thought I suppose. I guess I should just be used to this.
When I get you back,
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of.
No comments:
Post a Comment