When something better comes along

I hate being caught in between.

In between clarity and uncertaincy. In between knowing what to do and actually doing it. In between yes and no. In between denial and acceptance. In between wanting to rid myself of all this emotional baggage and simply being too attached to it to let go. In between you and me.

I think I'm too matured for my own good. Cos I'm just sitting here, thinking. Or pretending to think. Guess what I'm actually doing. I'm feeling. Oh my god, I'm fucking feeling. Insecure, confused, helpless, alone, duped, stupid, selfish, angry, lost, scared. My heart is just jumping all over the place, torn between logic and feeling. Thump thump thump. It's not getting any easier. Thump thump thump. What if you never gave two fucks about me and I'm just putting myself through all this crap for absolutely nothing? Thump thump thump. But what if you did and I'm just throwing it all away? Thump thump thump. Then again I'm probably the last person on your mind. Thump thump thump. And it's all for your own good anyway. Thump thump thump. And it's honestly come to a point where it's just not worth this shit anymore. Thump thump thump.....Right?

Fuck I hate that I care so god damn much.

We were all in love and we all got hurt