The best of me

It surprises me too, but all I really wanna do is to just sit in the pouring rain and feel it beating against my skin.



I've never realised how easy it is to lose, in every possible way. Nowadays I've just been going through the motions, and it wasn't until yesterday that I realised that I've lost, that I'm lost. The scariest bit is how easy it was. How easy it was to lose my sanity, spending a bulk of my time worrying about everything under the damn sun. How I lost myself in my dreams, spending precious time trying to decipher them and figure out if there were significant in any way, when they weren't. I've lost control of my emotions. Yes, abu was right. I have been acting angry and hostile of late, and I can't blame the PMS anymore because I know exactly what is bothering me, and it's the mere fact that it is bothering me that's eating me alive. I've lost sight of what is important. There's this voice at the back of my head reminding me that the Prelim date is looming nearer and I should be studying and not getting distracted, but I never listen. I've lost sight of what I'm working for. Heck, I even feel lost in my own home. But what truely really scares me, is that I've lost Hope. I've lost hope that I will someday be saved from this self-destruction, that one day all that yelling will stop, that someday you will realise I was here all along, that one day I will forget what I tried so hard to keep locked up in my head, that I can do this on my own.


It's a constant battle we know we can't win, but one that we fight anyway.


I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls