I think I need you here

We have the right to brag(:






As you would have already known by now.. to say that 4/6 were absolutely awesome today would be a complete and utter understatement :D I mean, of all my four years of performing on Teacher's Day, I can safely say that this year was the absolute best. :D And the best part is that we were so under-rehearsed and relatively unprepared, but we still rocked it out anyway(:






So I actually managed to comeearly today, welcomed by a cheering crowd I might add(: Hahaha.. 6.30 is mighty early okay! Cheong even said she was surprised I came that early, if at all! PLUS, I was earlier that Audrey, and she's supposed to be like in charge. Hahaha.. so we rehearsed and rehearsed til we were tired and cranky. Well, I was already cranky to begin with. The morning was filled with lots of fustration and uncertaincy. And of course, this being our last year, tonns of reminiscing. I gotta admit, I wasn't particularly keen on doing the performance at first, but I'm glad I did. Really. Sonia was right in saying that the applause we got was more than the previous three years combined! HAHAHA (:







Speaking of which, thank goodness people got what we were doing! We were all anticipating a very deadpan reaction but, being the innovative people that we are, the powerpoint and all really worked. Oh! I kinda forgot the lyrics to Mathelicious on stage so I stood there gapping like an idiot for a while before being saved by Amazing Grace. HAHAHA (: We were all shouting like our lives depended on it. It was pretty damn awesome. HAHA. No one understood Dode though. damn. But overall it was really great. It was fucking brilliant closure if anything(Come on, History Queen?!). It's been a while since I've been able to stride on stage confident of what we were presenting(:









After all the sweaty dancing/singing, Pau Sonia Buu and I had lunch at TM(wow.) Then I went home, had a long nap cos I was up so damn early in the morning(: Hahaha. And at four I went back to school for night study. HAH. I got there only to realise that I was the only one there and all the shutters were closed. So I called Pau and Buu, the only ones daring enough to stay from 6am til 9pm. We were indeed locked out. In the end we went through the staff room, and ended up at outside the library not-studying. again. Well, we took a long break to get food. HAHAHAHA.. I will never ever get over the "SHUTTTUP!" incident. EVER. HAHAHAHAHA(: Oh I wish it'll never end

Right. So it ended up being an incredibly fruitless session of night study. Like, I'm not even kidding this time. It was just PATHETIC. HA. On one hand, we were all just so drained, especially with it being Friday and all, but on the other, it was something my chinese roots disallow me to understand. HA. And now I'm here blogging. Sigh. Hahaha.

PICTURES(:


















This is so fake but I love it anyway(: Hamma-hamma.


















Told ya(:



















So blurrrr

















HAHA.. Look Weelyn! I got a picture too! And I didn't even have to ask! =P






















Pepper lunch is pretty damn good(:




















LOOK LOOK! ABU GOT REAL FOOD!!



And just because I feel like it..

(: It feels like so long ago.

Hmm.. I spent a lot of time thinking today, you might even call it reflecting. Let's reminisce(yes pau). Three years ago, we were all nervous and dorky in 1/8 doing our awesome 80s dance number. I remember so much, what I was wearing, how I felt, the funny stories that replay in my head in an instant. Then two years ago, a little less dorky and not-so-nervous, when I was the evil fariy, in Nicole's pretty black skirt and the cutest pair of kitten heels ever. heh, Fairytales. We almost dropped out of the skit you know. That was back when I was mugging so hard to get into 3/6. Haha.. Yeah(: I remember how Rae was Joseph, HAHA.. that was just legendary. And I remember sitting in the dark empty hall at like 6 in the morning with sonia, wondering exactly why the hell we had to come to damn early. HAHA(: Or how bout just last year, when I had the honour of being Ms K. Kang, or should I say Ms Kangan, in line with the Bollywood theme. Hahah. I remember wearing Pau's opaque black stockings and getting yelled at by Mr Chan, saying that it was just too mean(: Haha. Ms Kang wasn't even there to watch the performance. I had to TELL her about it, and I remember joking that she might just fail me in lit from then on. HAHA. And now here we are, four years down the road, not so much dorky, just.. nerds(: HAHA.. And damn. it's all coming to an end.


Let's go out with a bang! :D


Love me love me.
Pretend that you love me,
Leave me leave me.
Just say that you need me.

Better Believe I Bled

Just some things that made me smile today:

-Incredibly embarrassing rehearsals that didn't quite work out(:
-Getting yelled at for sleeping while trying to study
-Falling asleep anyway(:
-My jacket that smells like me
-Talking a little too loudly in the library even though we know we should be studying(:
-Starbucks requests(:
-Allowing myself to get distracted by absolutely nothing(:
-My song! (:
-The breath-taking moon(:
-Falling down while walking up the stairs(: (oops)
-Way too much coffee waay too late into the night(:



I hear you be the block
But I'm the lights that keep the streets on

The best of me

It surprises me too, but all I really wanna do is to just sit in the pouring rain and feel it beating against my skin.



I've never realised how easy it is to lose, in every possible way. Nowadays I've just been going through the motions, and it wasn't until yesterday that I realised that I've lost, that I'm lost. The scariest bit is how easy it was. How easy it was to lose my sanity, spending a bulk of my time worrying about everything under the damn sun. How I lost myself in my dreams, spending precious time trying to decipher them and figure out if there were significant in any way, when they weren't. I've lost control of my emotions. Yes, abu was right. I have been acting angry and hostile of late, and I can't blame the PMS anymore because I know exactly what is bothering me, and it's the mere fact that it is bothering me that's eating me alive. I've lost sight of what is important. There's this voice at the back of my head reminding me that the Prelim date is looming nearer and I should be studying and not getting distracted, but I never listen. I've lost sight of what I'm working for. Heck, I even feel lost in my own home. But what truely really scares me, is that I've lost Hope. I've lost hope that I will someday be saved from this self-destruction, that one day all that yelling will stop, that someday you will realise I was here all along, that one day I will forget what I tried so hard to keep locked up in my head, that I can do this on my own.


It's a constant battle we know we can't win, but one that we fight anyway.


I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

My weaknesses

My life has just been one ironic turn after another.


Heh. It's not too bad actually. Well, if you discount being all icky and sick the past three days. HAHA.. Fret not darlings, I'm feeling much better. Thanks for the concern, loves(: Haha.. I'm so tired and disoriented and i really don't look very good. So I shall just shut up and show you the pictures.


..or not.


Pictures are from the awesome Pau party held at the Ritz, where a group of eight to ten girls (and one guy) were sneaking around and getting stalked by suspicious managers. HAHA. I brought my camera but failed to realise that the battery wasn't inside. HA. So kudos to Sonia for the hilarious pictures. Friday night, we watched the fabulous fireworks from the 22nd floor, had a failed attempt at a surprise, shoved our way through huge crowds, sat in the middle of a mall for dinner and shoved back to the hotel.


Oh wait. Funny story. I bought pau the simpsons soundtrack(HAHA) and a cupcake. So sonia and I had thisgreat surprise plan, where we would surprise her with the cupcake when she opened the door, only to destroy it(of course) by both taking huge bite out of the cupcake and polishing it off! HAHAHA.. so first of all, pau had to get us from downstairs, so the whole open-the-door thing died. Dang. When we got up, all giggly and excited, we got in the room, and pau got a call. so we waited and waited.....and waited... Pua got suspicious. HAHA. AND AND AND, when we finally surprised her, I took a HUGE bite and passed it to sonia. and that little loser, started laughing and laughing..and LAUGHING. so we just stood there, with her laughing, me looking stunned while holding half a cupcake, and pau just like..'HAR?' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..




..fine. Just look at the pictures.
















Hahahaha.. GREAT bathtub.
















Excuuusssssssseeee you! HAHA















Still in the toilet.















:D I heart Coffee.














Oh I think I'm so damn cool.




















You think this is bad? ...how bout..














THIS?! Hahaha
















Awwwww... (:













All for Pau (:
















Toodles!



You're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I don't know why.

Throw your weight.

Weekends are no longer enjoyable. I'm sick as a dog. The pain is pounding vigorously at my temples, my nose is half-blocked and half-running, my throat replicates a desert, my hair is just a mangled mess, my eyes hurt when I blink and I haven't done anything at all today but fill up my bin with dozens of snotty tissue paper and stare into oblivion. To top it all of, I'll be doing all of this in school tomorrow. Pleasant.



And now I have to pretend I don't care.



Are you happy where you are, lying underneath the stars?

Laughter in the rain

See what happens when I have even a bit of coffee?


For once, I can say that it hasn't been a bad week. No, not that bad at all. If you're surprised that I can even recall what happened, I'll tell you a little secret...*leans in.... I wrote it down.. SHHHH.. HAHAHAH..


If you need proof of my muddle-headedness (the result of being incredibly drained), today in the hall for the chinese thing, Cheong and I were having an arguement on whether she signed up for retaking chinese or not. I mean, I swore I saw her write a big huge NO on the form and she remembered signing yes. And her, being the moron that she is, soon got swayed by my adament stand and became unsure of herself. HA. So we went to see my lovely chinese teacher who was talking to someone else.. so we waited...and waited...and waited.. til we finally got our turn.... and it was a Yes. HAHAHA.. OOPS(: Hahaha..


...right so what was I saying? Oh right. Good week. Monday was awesome. Well.. hmm.. Chinese results and all right. No I didn't do well. My effort to avoid the Heng went down the drain. Er.. actually for my standard it's ok, but judging from everyone else's pretty grades, it wasn't that great. Anywho, I recieved some pretty awesome news that brightened my day and made me adament not to let anything else destroy my day, not even another generally more violent row. Plus, it was Starbucks with the honeys.. what's there not to love?... ME? IRRESPONSIBLE?! HA. They're just sour they can't have me(:


Tuesday was not as pretty. Reality had sunken in. Oh and there was also O level orals, which went decidedly...BAD. In fact, I dont even want to think about how I spoke of bowel movements. Uh huh. Hmm.. Wednesday was... Out studying again. oooh! The list(: Thursday was out with the Chan and the Bush, who thought it was funny that they walked away from me and towards the evil that is Macs. I was slighty annoyed but it was all in jest i guess(: Oh wait, I forgot about the history game thing, where Audrey and Anne tried to fool the Loke with some dumbass game Isabel fell for twice, consecutively. It was bloody hilarious. Hitler Stalin Hitler Stalin. And my personal favourite, Methane Methene Methane Methene. HAHAHAHA(:


Damn. I spent a lot of money this week cos of all the cabbing.


Hmm.. Today was a funny/bad/lovely day. It was horribly demoralising yet strangely enjoyable. It was like a slap in the face, again and again. First, It was PE, where we were forced to actively participate in a ball game. I almost got killed by many flying balls. And despite the entertainment of watching frisbee guy fall(er, I have two balls), I was upset cos my hair had beun to fall. Then, I lost the weather game(and six cents) to Weelyn who, for once, guessed correct. It rained. AND AND AND, A maths Mocks. OH MY GOD. I.. just.. RAHR. Then, on the way back from the chinese teacher, Cheong and I played in the rain, kinda. Hahaha... That killed my already dying hair, but it was fun(: Then, we got back Maths, which was...not great. I was really upset cos I was really careless, as usual. Sigh. BUT, Pau did the funniest thing and added herself to Sonia's hilarious 'You're-going-down list', which was flipping hilarious, esp when I accidentally said kinda loudly that she had written over selected ****s. OOOOO, I wonder whooo:D HAHAHA...Oh, during Bio, the five of us were reduced to sitting on the floor and doing our chem mock exams, which we helped each other with(Ha). And of course, the current pride of 4.6, the lovely board that the A maths dropouts had so painstakenly done up, complete with great inside jokes like catch me, ella ella eh eh, it's hot hot, hitler stalin, just to name a few. Go see it, it's fabulous(: Great job guys :D


Hahaha.. actually typing it out makes me realise that my day might not have been that bad at all(: And even though I complain all the damn time about every little itty bitty detail, I'm gonna miss the lovely days like this(: The way we joke about in class, the random things that we do, the people that we love, the people that we don't love, the littlest of things that make me laugh and smile. And days like this make me rethink my outlook. I mean, maybe not everyone's out to get you. Maybe not everyone's that competitive and have hidden intention(some do of course) ..but maybe it isn't everyone. Perhaps I just have an overly-cryptic veiw on life. Hmmm..Gotta love these days yeah?(:


Oh me oh my. Look at the time. I have to go get ready for two parties tonight, both of which are running concurringly.I don;t think that's a word. HMM(: I am being social.


Too social.


And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

I know you can, love(:

MotherFucker

Worst Weekend Ever.





I swear I'll get out next fucking time.

She totally fell.

When will I learn not to believe?


Hey stranger(: Before I launch into the going ons of today, being Sports carnival and all, I shall let you in on what has been happening the past few days. Er. Let's see... er... er... Hmm, HAHAHA.. Fine. Yesterday, I went studying with the strangest group of people you will ever throw together, Audrey(yuck) Weelyn and Cheong. HAHA.. I know. (: It was like, where are you going? Are we going with them? Whose going where now? huh? What?... And next thing I knew, I was on the floor on Starbucks at the airport laughing, reminiscing and not studying with these people. Haha. Strange times. Apparently on their way back home, (I was conviniently left behind) they had some encounter with some kind of suicide, and if you read their blogs, they're actually complaining about the death. -.- Typical. HAHA



So, back to today. The Jock celebration whatever. It was. Interesting... well, actually it was one big sweaty mess but, despite my endless complains, It was fucking awesome :D OH MY GOD. GREAT CLOSURE. Totally(: Best class? DUH. Have you not met us? Seriously? HAHAHA


Started out hilariously, with Sonia, Sonia Cheong and I trying hard to sing the National Anthem. Of course we had already forgotten the words so we sang the school song instead. Really loudly. We had practice during the CCA feast thing, remember?(: HAHA.. Sim kept shushing us. Like..hello?! I was trying to take a video of us singing. TSK. Hahaha(:

Sonia and I strutted around with our sunnies all day(: I wore my big white ones cos of the red and white theme. And thank god I chose that pair. Because now I have a really bad tanline on my face(yeah yeah. Laugh it up.), I almost wanted to wear my cat-eyed ones. HAHAHA.. Thank goodness I decided against it. (: OH! The frisbee guy asked me why my sunnies were bigger than his. To which I replied "Cos I'm cooler than you" and turned my heel and walked away. :D Truly.


Anywho, Sonia and I took part in Human wWheel this year. OH MY GOD. It was so fucking hilariousss... We were all getting so pumped and excited, We being Anne, Audrey(again, YUCK) Weelyn, Chandu, Maxine, Ethel, Sonia, Me, Li Ting, Vivien. And we constructed this whole PLAN. It was funny, I was telling them that should Audrey fall, we could leave her be, flailing and flopping around, and trample ahead eagerly. And then, she turned to me.. and had an ethel moment. She Screamed. and screamed. And screamed. like.."AAHH!!...AAHH!!...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" HAHAHAHAHA... it was so gross.


She didn't fall in the end. DAMN. This is what actually happened. I was in the second team, the return team, standing behind Anne. When the race started, We watched anxiously as the other team, led by the shortest, took the lead for a while. Before long, 4.7 had caught up and it only made us more determined to win. When they finally arrived, we jumped right in the used plastic sheet and trampled like our life depended on it. Left right left. Led by Anne, we zoomed off to a great start. Suddenly, I realised Anne was ducking dangerously low. Before I could say anthing, she fell, face first onto the ground. I hopped out of the wheel! ANNNE! She lay in a collapsed heap on the warm floor.. LAUGHING! And so there I am, out in public, what do I worry about? ANNE? MY HAIR?! After our laughter died down, Sonia and I quickly picked her off the floor and we hurriedly(and very messily) continued the race.

HAHAHAHAHA.. We came in Third. But alls well cos it was motherfucking awesome. I dont think I'll ever forget the sight of Anne, collapsed into a laughing ball on the floor in front of me. :D YES ANNE


Other generally awesome stuff happened but im too tired to go into such details. So let's see. Basically the day was spent cam-whoring la. But then again, we won SAC cup! Jocks were actually useful today! And the Dode. Oh my Goodness, the Dode. Her inner man graced us with his presence and she managed to save many goals, further injuring her finger in the process. How awesome is that? HAHa.. what else? OH! Gladiatress was hilarious. I didn't take part this year. But it was funny nonetheless. Sonia Buu and all getting so excited. Pasu battled Ms Kang..AND WON! She was so bitter afterwards, going around complaining that it was too violent a game to be enjoyed by the likes of her. Well. Mmm.. Rae's head got trampled on, but she's ok. Sonia and I exchanged donuts! MMMMM(: The day was filled with funny moments basically. But after a while, the immense heat got to me and I chose to sit around trying to collect myself and unstickify. Didn't work. HAHA

In the end we won Class Champions! :D We were kinda shocked at first. But it was a great feat. Normally I'm adamently against Sports Day crap, cos it's basically Jock day right. I mean, it's normally just endless hours of watching jocks run around in circles, but today was pretty awesome(: Maybe jessie's right, maybe we're all becoming jocks.


*shudders


HAHAH. After the ordeal, Pasu and I did the hop in and headed to Esplanade library to hit the books [Ned by choice(: ] It was... fruitless. I couldn't concentrate at all, so we went for a walk... which turned into an hour long discussion on.. hard-hitting subjects. Sure. HAHAHA.. So much for that. Every SACian we saw were treated to snide looks from us and loud whispers of "THEY DIDN'T BATHE!" We're such nerds. (:

SEEEEEEE.














We are the champions? HAHA..
















I love this one. It's too cute(:















Warrior Sonia. Or not.















Cheerleader DODE (Done?)














HAHA(: How incredibly cute is it? Note the fallen head of Jo(:


















So. much. HEAT!






















Oh no.



















Fine(:
















I spend too much time with these people(:
















Third place ain't half bad. Spot the jock/s?



















My not cooler friend















Yeah, it doesn't always work both ways Sonia(:















She fell asleep on sports day. tsk tsk(:














Oh dear me.
















It just gets WORST!



















I'm coming...for YOU!

Fine. Sometimes we take cute photos too(:

THERE.

Not the best way to end the day yeah?

Such a pretty sky. Delicate yet oh-so-powerful.

Eh wait. They didn't have free milo! Damn. At the end of the day, I was an exhausted, disoriented mess. It was a slightly traumatising day, for various reasons, but it was enjoyable la.

Ooohh.. didn't see that one coming.

I am selfish, I am wrong

For the love of me.

Look.

Just some of the reasons why I smile even on days like these, despite the pounding headache and the immense humidity(:

Oh, and Ethel broke the record and gave me chocolate in two days instead of two weeks *sigh

Can you imagine life without me? Seriously.