we are not in love

This quiet week in faded pictures. Sometimes I look at them and wonder if I take myself and my social media platforms too seriously. What is the real point of all the fuss of intricately fading pictures? The truth is it isn't (just) about wanting to show off or to convince people that my life is great. It's really more of an indication or a reminder to myself that these experiences and feelings have existed in my life at some point, much like all my blogs I reckon. I don't write to tell people what's wrong with my life, but to jot down my thoughts, clear my head and also to understand the inconsistencies of my feelings. This week has been a rather quiet one, but I don't mind at all. Save for that one afternoon, though I would hardly say it was of extravagant delight. Ha. It's kinda complicated, yet really not at all. The story always goes the same way: frantic and desperate translates to sentimental-hand-holding crap and finally oh-wait-this-is-why-we-broke-up.. and then I am covered in bruises. Ha. Strangely enough, I have no gripes or resentment when he walks out the door. I guess on some level it is nice to know that there's still always something to fall back one (gag). Ahh it's always the same argument. Much like the one that should be insignificant by now.. but is not. It's so strange how someone you barely know can rattle through your mind all day like an old toy. It seems that in my attempt to make myself unattainable, it has completely backfired and sealed that status for thee in my head instead. Juuuuuust great. "The mistakes I've made are dead to me. But I can't take back the things I never did." So much for being young and stupid and indestructible, huh.


We were so young, I think of her now and then
I still hear the song reminding me of when