hold you like a python

What is it about dysfunction that we are so compelled by? The first thing I need is to rid myself of this bitterness and jealousy. It's disgusting the way some people are, even more disgusting that I can't help but feel a twinge of resentment. Life isn't fair, that's the way it should be. Maybe I'm simply too competitive, or maybe my life is just so pathetic that I let frivolous things like that affect me. I can't deal. Anyway, it could be the sudden hormonal imbalance speaking but I find myself beginning to feel the distance. It's really because I don't stay angry long enough. If only things were so simple. Or well, if only you weren't a complete and utter piece of shit. Well. Dysfunction is better than nothing... I guess? Illusion of love is better than none. I think. Confused. The way I see it is: you think you have the upper hand cos you're doing whatever you want at your own pace while I think I have it cos I believe there's no way in hell this is ever happening again. It's pretty clear who's wrong here #sad. I comfort myself by saying it's only normal to feel this way and that I've felt it before for people who mean absolutely nothing to me. Perhaps I'm simply too sentimental. The best or possibly worst part is I would never admit it. If only I was a hopeless romantic huh, none of this pragmatic crap. God I hate being a (dysfunctional) girl.

when the light is out and the words have gone,

will you be the one to try it on?