Your name is in my celing

Looks like the secrets out. Let the cat out of the bag and it hit me like a slap in the face. Still, I can hear the ringing in my head as the alcohol sends blood and adrenaline pulsing through my brain. I can't believe I don't remember any of it. That's great. And to think I savored the effortless sleep the morning after. I wonder what you are still doing with me if I really said all of that. If I were you I would've left on the spot. Unless you're just so desperate to be with somebody. Or it just doesn't matter to you how I feel about you. I really can't tell which is worse. On hindsight, I really shouldn't be surprised that 1) I drunkenly spilled my guts 2) it doesn't affect you much. Maybe you know it's true. Or maybe you've just withdrawn yourself. Or maybe it's enough for you. I still wish I knew you better so I'd at least know. It's not that I don't enjoy this, I do... when it's fun. But sometimes with your empty words and useless promises, I just want to smack you up the side of your head. I know I'm wasting my time and my logic is that I have time to waste. I want so badly to believe that what we have and you are real but.. I know better. I want to buy into this and make this worth my time; in fact, I think I want to more than you do because I don't think you're even capable of anything that's real if it means moving out of your comfort zone or giving something up. It makes me feel bad for you but it also makes me feel bad for myself knowing that I know what true relationships feel like and yet I still sell myself short. Life.

Now you're mine, you're mine again

Swear you'll never leave me