so tell me I'm cruel

Everything's just more complicated than I realized. "I don't want to think of the consequences" really doesn't work if "I don't want to think about now". Perhaps I have gotten to become too much of what I like to think is a writer, but I fucking relish the irony that you are actually the exact reason why I am so closed off. You and the actions that were triggered by your mere presence. How alluring would you have to be to have sparked off such a blazing, everlasting fire. Oh how strongly it still burns. All the world can watch. How it affects me so. This won't end will it? Even after you and your burning soul have faded away, from my life at least, it will still always be. Hearing my friends have so little faith in me is like having someone kick you when you're down. I guess it's true that I apparently love myself so much there isn't space for anyone else. Hi Justin. Ha ha. But on a more serious note, I'm certain I am too deep in this already. For some reason that is simply beyond me, I see you in such a painfully romantic way. Perhaps the greatest irony of all, yeah? The one that ruined the very idea of love for me and kept me in the darkest of caves for years. Actually no, you didn't ruin it. That wouldn't be fair. I did. I took love by the hand, gazed into his eyes and stabbed him in the back. I am selfish and I am greedy. I am conceited and I am cruel. And these facts, they weigh heavy on my shoulders, droop on my lids, tugs at my soul. A chain that is supposed to anchor me. And yet it doesn't. Life and it's mysteries.

And all the world can watch the choices you make
All the world can watch each tiny mistake