If I roll over, when it's over

How did I end up in such a compromising position? Oh right. Bad life decisions. Hurhur. It seems like a moral dilemma we're all caught in. I almost wish I said something, really. Now what are we to do? On the other hand, it's a complete reversal. Though it's not on my conscience because I've managed to convince myself it is a choice on your part. Ha. Trust is a touchy subject, simply because I can't even trust myself not to ruin this. I enjoy attention as much as the next boy does. Everything I touch breaks in half. Moving on. We're moving on!!! It astounds me, still. Even more so. Questions of the future and it's worth plaguing me. I want this. Maybe this ended up as more than I expected. Maybe I really didn't expect enough. I really should've thought this thing through. Damn you, youth. Oh oh me and my excuses. I need more than I should.. but no I don't think it's too much to ask for, satisfaction. SIGH. Has it really been that long? SIGH. Speaking of which, it seems like the gathering of a lifetime and I am not EXcited. Is there a single fucking memory that isn't tainted by our debauchery? Jesus. It's ridiculous (how proud of it I am). And yet I am so fucking afraid to go back. Raaaaahr I can't deal with this. Maybe I should just focus on the last of this way of life. I have such a problem letting go.

You're pushing and pulling me down to you

But I don't know what I want