Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm in love with my own sins

Dramatic week. I've been so caught up in my hate.. I mean head. Yup.. still bitter. I know it's a matter of perception but I seem to already be stuck in the cycle of omfg-is-this-life?. Fuck. Not to mention, it seems that I've started secluding myself socially. I crave comfort and familiarity more than anything. Grrr. Girls are the bane of my existence. How is that evenly remotely appropriate? I know it's unfair to expect you to hate who I hate (though I do) but I don't care. And even if I do, it's super two-faced on your part. I'm tired of having to tell you how to portray (protect) me. Roar. On the other hand, you are too safe! Alcoholic. The least that could've happened was to make it worth my time!!! (note the overuse of exclamation marks) It's like I want to hear it but I don't want to have to deal with it but I still want it but still.. I don't. Life. Too north, in all possible ways. I cannot deal with the thought of work ending or of school, so I will leave it to the last minute. I have enough issues as it is. Sleep eludes me. Constant physical exhaustion. I fucking hate being sentimental. That's it. It's just nostalgia. Does that make me heartless? Whatever. The more important debate is: distraction or happiness?


Apologetically dressed in the best
But on a heartbeat glide

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