It's safe to say I have been very emotional of late. My body has officially failed me and now I will never know when I'll bleed.. if I ever will. Whatever. I walk around with so much hate for my skin it is pathetic. Black for safety. Hiding behind my hair. Sleep has become an elusion again. Nights spent with running thoughts, throw back to the old days. Everything on that pedestal. My pedestal. The one I sat so proudly on.. now kept warm by these thoughts of the life I once had. Painkillers. Is time but a number? An idea? I don't think so. So much uncertainty. This started out as a quest for comfort.. security. And now I am so damn unsure. My theory is that it was bound to happen anyway.. I think. In this situation. Yeah I got myself into this mess in the first place. You are blind to my sorrow.. all you see is anger. You're so sensitive is hurts me, and I am saying this in the most annoyed possible way. For fucks sakes, you made such a bad life decision.
Why'd you have to go and pick me
When you knew that we were different completely?
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