I guess everything fades away. It was only a matter of time really. First day of the rest of forever.. that I'm stuck here anyway. Well. Back to that same stable life. I don't need that kind of excitement anyway.. but I want it. I just want it to be ambiguous and fun foreverrrr... but nooooo real life and grabby hands and shiz. But as with life, everything and everyone moves on. and up. The good thing is that I get to live vicariously through other people having good jobs and new opportunities and stepping out of their comfort zones and shit. So sad. I hate being at the bottom so much. Sigh. I don't know what to say about this anymore. I'm actually so comfortable and free and anonymous now that you're not around.. like I don't feel so obligated and self conscious. But at the same time, I'm actually pretty sad to be losing someone that I had some kind of a connection with. I guess that doesnt come around as often as one would think.. but aiya, it wasn't all that great either. But also like, how do bitches move past whatever happened and still be like.. acquaintances? Well. I can't deny that I keep thinking of that one tender moment, a soft blur in my memory.. if only for a second. Am I even making sense anymore? my mind keeps hovering between that image of your face leaning in towards mine.. and just completely forgetting what you look like. Hurdy hur. Life.
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