let's roll just like we used to

Greetings from the Netherlands! The above is our solo weekend trip to London for fun and folly, if you know what I mean. Thank god for friends. Last weekend's distance have been more than made up for with a deadly question I was too proud to admit to. This vacuum of time and space thing is such a double-edged sword. An endless string of languid, cosy nights doing everything and absolutely nothing. As per my life, words that were spoken in the heat of the champagne have not and will probably not be revisited. I'm not sure if running to London like spoilt kids was a smart or dumb choice. On one hand, it was truly lovely finally having the time to explore places outside of the city but on the other hand (you have different fingers), spending that kind of time together is always an invitation for trouble ie dirty beds and dirty streets. Well, at least showers are clean. Lol. I don't even know anymore. I'm so tired of pretending not to see or know things and tired of acting as if the fact that you have your own life doesn't bother me the way that it does, especially when I suddenly find myself abandoned at the sidewalk only to hide in a cafe to make an overseas confession. The next two weeks brings more than just the usual anxiety of being away from home-ish because of the involvement of the third factor. Well actually that would be me hahaha no. The problem is I have this notion that nothing beats having something to come home to. Case in point: the day away after the day you took a look into my real life. I'm beginning to question the meaning of too close for comfort because there is no such thing as too comfortable. Amazingly (and I say this with genuine surprise), you've been running through my mind like a little white rabbit set into the wild. I have screwed myself over either way. I know that everything will all melt away when winter turns into hot burning summer, despite what your eyes say or the way you stroke my hair because that is simply the way that Life is. But because I (still) have no sense of being an adult and thinking of long term considerations, the one question on my mind is: what happens in springtime?


Here comes the morning where I'll say goodbye
But I won't turn around cos the reason is treason