all of love is fleeting

This is the difference a day makes. Distance makes the heart grow weak. On the other hand, happiness is when one pretty much finalizes travel plans (#europe2013), coupled with an accidental shopping spree and time with girls. It's funny how easily my vision is clouded by languid nights. Some time away and a bitching session to kick me back into a more true state of mind. I say more true because that is what it is: the truth. Your actual life is the truth. What is here is merely now. I used to wonder how you could handle your old ass baggage but now I realize that your baggage handles you. *whh-chhh. Sometimes I really wonder why I am so easily duped into believing in people and what they portray themselves to be. Flashback to the times you refused to cave in and when you believed that, and I quote: "when you've been through enough, you'll understand how to control yourself". It's ironic because someone controls you. This is a lesson to be learnt for all never to hold on too tight to something because it will go crazy on someone significantly younger than thou. *whh-chh. Ha ha. Okay I should stop. I truly wonder now how quickly things would disintegrate when we get back. I say quickly because it is a sure fucking deal. The fucked up part is that this doesn't make me feel the least bit cruel, just a little sore. Okay, a little extremely sore. Still, I can't help but wonder: how different am I? From past experiences, these things only go two ways: extremely different or extremely similar. I can only hope it isn't the latter, that would make me feel more bad about myself than I already do. I should really stop now. Snuggled in bed alone now, I recognize this feeling. This feeling of longing and wonder. Been there, done that.


He's just looking for something new,
I've said it once before but it bears repeating