I swear you emerged blinking into

The most tiring weekend ever but just the perfect thing to help forget about life. The weekdays before and after were spent slogging but such is life. Epic times with amazing music, good friends, peacocks and of course, our fair share of drama. And the good two or so hours that I blacked out and went to a weirdly sandy paradise (i think) for a bit. Major Lazer, Kaskade, Above and Beyond (ha), Calvin Harris and Paul Van Dyke (ha ha). Surprisingly, I had a lot more fun than I had anticipated. Now that things have simmered, I shall attempt to log the trials and tribulations of recent events. Firstly, I have come to realize that retribution is something you cannot run from, no matter how good you are. See also: here when I was angry and thoughts were exploding out of my head, only to make way for visuals so vivid I may as well have been there. Can't believe you don't at least have the decency to not get caught. Fucking faggot cunt. What he did was not a mistake, it is a way of life. I know because that's how I live. I bet neither of us thought we would see the day this truly ended. I always carried around a paranoia but I was never prepared to be embarrassed like that. I am humiliated and angry but also relieved that this is finally over. Which brings us to the next thing and back to the main point because, surprise surprise, I am stuck in an extremely ironic shit cycle of boys who are idiots. The epic "he has a girlfriend" moment where we gasped, looked at each other and just exploded into laughter. Perfect. That then brings me to the next one.. I hate having feelings, although I'm weirdly certain that this one is also another idiot. But I've also come to learn that sometimes it isn't about what happens, but about what could happen that makes it enough. Oh well. Nothing will ever come close to the most important one. The truth is I still need you. I cannot thank you enough for everything. Words aren't enough to express how much respect I have for you. As it is, I am furious and bitter about something so much smaller than what I put you through, I can't imagine how big a person you must be to be who you are. I may not have faith in people and in life but if there's one thing that may get me through, is that I will always believe in you.


I turn the music up, I'm on a roll this time
and heaven is in sight