I take it that we're over

A surprisingly productive week, although I can safely say that's gonna be hard to come by now that school is in full swing. I honestly haven't been this stressed out in the longest time; what with the social complications, the crazy competition and overall not really knowing that I'm doing. Winner. No time for feelings and shit this week.. which obviously means I am currently distracting myself with my emotions and what not. First of all, my body needs to make up it's freaking mind cos ain't nobody got time for that. I'm tired and I can feel it in my bones. But of course, it's never purely physical innit? I know on some level I just want what I can't have but right now, I just want it. If he can man the fuck up then come and get it. And if he simply can't or just won't, it's alright too (see also: this) because I know I don't mean it in its entirety. It's this now or never mentality that's screwed me over time and time again yet its one I live by. #life. Lately, I've been feeling like I've been in between for too long. In between being still young and too old. In between freedom and familiarity. In between what I know and what I feel. What I know doesn't change what I feel and what I feel is a longing. A longing for something safe, a pair of arms to lay in, for some reassurance that there's something out there that's real, something better to look forward to. I haven't felt that way in too long. Years. Not surprisingly, when things turned sour closest to home, the first person I wished for was.. well. I know I've said this a million times since but my god do I fucking hate it without you.

I knew that when I met you

I'm not gonna let you run away