It just hit me that it's already May. Time moves so quickly. It's funny to think that it's been about a year since I made grand mistake number two. It's actually quite amazing to see that this actually means so much less to me now than it did a mere year ago. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. I can actually pinpoint the exact point where things went downhill and will deem that as grand mistake number three for not just leaving. Yes, this is yet another post about why I am miserable where I am now and no, I will probably not do anything about it. That is how my life is. You delete me and I'll delete you. And yet. Don't I deserve to be happy..? I guess not if I am the one that leaves myself in these situations. I won't go so far as to say I put myself here cos I guess that shits fate and crap. Hurhur. The thing is that I don't really care much for this anymore. And I think that that's what I want.. but its not. Yes its easier because I don't feel so tied down by the suffocation that is the dreaded l word, but its also very annoying. What to do. The l word has just been tossed around too easily in my life. So often people say to me "I'm the only person who loves you" or crap like that. So often I'm like "yes, that is totally the first time I've ever heard that in my life". I mean.. what does that even mean. If that's true then why is it that lately it always feels like I'm just on to the next one?
the more I'd like to let it go
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