I was nineteen, call me

So I guess that was my year. Let's see: Justine's birthday at MBS -> countless nights at Rebel -> finally getting rid of the crazy -> all while in my last semester -> well, then there was that -> surgery for the calazion in my eye -> annual visit to the Biennale -> Paris with thy family -> AFF & the day I met the boy -> Bintan with the girls -> getting fired -> getting tragically ill.. with a UTI -> Hong Kong with Justine -> getting shingles (herpes) -> Lykke Li -> YSL with YSL boy (LOL) -> being the powerpuff girls -> countless events with Kim -> generally ending up with Kenneth. And I quote: "Why your life like that one?" LOL. Despite the counting illness I contracted, the endless late nights at Zouk, missing my own graduation, the string of boys and the girl, the ridiculous amount of money I owe my father and the multiple jobs, 2011 was significantly better than 2010. Last year, I lost everything. Last year I found myself desperately searching for answers in all the wrong places. Last year, I clung onto unhappiness for fear of loneliness. Last year I was a coward. This year I finally let everything go.. well, most things. I got rid of the crazy, I got rid of the baggage. I got rid of my fear. For a good seven months I was single and I was fine. In fact I was more than fine, I was fun. The biggest lesson I learnt this year was that nothing is really as bad as it seems. I admit I still may not be making the best decisions (my luggage remains half packed as I stop to blog instead) but I like to think I have a clearer view of things. This year I finally got the confirmation that it may not be over just yet but I also know it's not happening now. And I'm more than glad. In fact, I feel like I've grown the most when it comes to relationships. With every one I learn what I have and what I don't have and I've been through enough to size them up and learn not to take certain things for granted. Admittedly, I still have a lot to learn about being matured and what not. Next year sees me beginning at a new school (hopefully) and honestly I can't see anything past the fact that I am leaving in about eight hours to our Parisian adventure so cheers to that, happy birthday to me and happy new year to all! xx

I feel you in my heart

and I don't even know you