Where do I even start? How late this is. Oh now, that's not cute at all. Really, I'm scared as hell. End of the year = indulgence. Hitting the shops and the clubs like it's free.. but it's not. Butter two weeks in the row reminded me how fun it was to let loose without having to worry senselessly every second. Nothing gets you thinking like talking cock with a complete stranger till the wee morn. I like to think I've changed for the better but I can't erase this bitterness. Yeah, fuck you. No seriously. The whole week has seen me trying to swallow this bitter pill, fucking reluctantly. Faltering between complete indifference and mega fucking angst. I don't even know why it pisses my off but it just does. And now I know nothing of it. The way it should be, I guess. A lot less exciting. Stupid being matured and shit. Pfft. I guess I just.. didn't really see it coming? Maybe I'm really that delusional, or maybe I'm really that self-important. Or maybe I was always this delusional and it was always nothing. Ugh. I can't fucking wait for this year to end, though I don't really know what difference it makes because I'd probably still be bitter about it. My one question (don't die) is: what about me? what about what I need? What about what's best for meeeeee? ~ Anyway, it's a little late for this.
How could this be done,
by such a smiling sweetheart?
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