An adventure like no other. Food, shopping and being deliriously sick of each other. And for once it wasn't a trip where I dwelled and wallowed. For once I left everything behind so I had something for me to come back to. And what a ride it was. A whirlwind of "shaaafuckup", "omg I butt fucked you!" and "MINDFUUUCCKK". Awesomeness. But back to reality and what a harsh blow it was. Less awesome chinese food and chinese boys. Life. Maybe I finally realized I can't always get what I think I deserve. It's just numbers I guess.. I guess. Life, on the other hand, seems to be duller than it already was. Bleak and gray. These dreams, they're still following me like a lonesome puppy. These thoughts, they plague me like a virus. What I need is one of those bright spotlights shining inside me so I can expose these feelings to myself. Because right now I am too caught in my own darkness to understand what is happening within me. Why am I running so frantically from my own emotions when I am so eager to read yours? The degradation of your life. Corrosion of everything I thought you were. I still can't place it. On the other hand, I think I am too blinded by my own mind that I can't, for the life of me, see any form of future and prospect whatsoever. It's like shooting myself in the foot over and over again.
Let's get out of this country,
I have been so unhappy
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