So this was originally supposed to be an upbeat post about how the hell we all call school is finally over. But in light of recent events, it will now become an empty space, and quite sadly the only space, for me to pen down my pent up frustration or for once.. hurt. The last day of Year 2 was celebrated (if you can even say that) by something I will refer to as an illness. Everything begins with an accidental discovery. Flashback to how you sat so smugly behind your coffee, shrugging me off by saying that my thoughts and fears are disillusioned and how it didn't seem important to you simply because you think I am being ridiculous. And yet sure enough. Even with the benefit of the doubt, it stings in all my wounded areas. But really.. the next blow? Out of this fucking world. I think what really hurt the most is how easily you could spin stories to make me think I know what is happening when I really don't. Times three. A false sense of control. A false sense of belonging. A false sense of real companionship. I really hope I am just being over emotional right now and it really isn't as horrible as it is but I am barely in a state to gauge. Why does everything feel so fucking familiar..? Just normally without this fucked up emotional rollar coaster. Which leads me to wonder if this affected you the same way it was fucking affecting me because I think that answer says a fuck lot about where we stand.
Do you feel it?
Do you feel it coming down?
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