The same song has been replaying in my head over and over again all week long.
Well hello there. School's been pretty damn icky lately. In fact, I am so incredibly drained that I have problems remembering what happened. It's almost ridiculous. Buu and I were walking up to class on Wednesday and we were wrecking our brains, trying to remember exactly what the hell happened just two days ago. And to no avail! Like, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck happened on Monday. All I know is that I was in a bad mood, I was really peeved and I don't know why. Oh wait. Chinese Listening. Then on tuesday.... tuesday.... er.. HMM. Shit. Er, on wednesday there were history and chem tests.. Oh yeah! Ms Kang and her spiel, HAHA.. Mmm.. I clean forgotten thursday. Oh wait, erm Chem test. Friday was a maths one. Last night I was a tad miffed.
Oh. My. God. My days are now defined by the tests that I have. What the fuck happened? Everyone tells me that we're supposed to relish our secondary school days cos these could well be the best ones that we will ever have. And yet here I am, yet to hit the prime of my youth, with senile dementia! FUCK. I really do feel that it's because I am just so incredibly drained from just living that I have problems doing the simplest things, like keeping track of all the stuff that happens. Is that hard? Apparently.
I do rather vividly recall the number of times we've talked about JCs and Polys all week though. Frankly I'm so incredibly sick of it. Ironic that sometimes I am the one who commences said conversation. Truth be told, I'm just really insecure about it. What the fuck am I gonna do with my life. Rahr.
Next week looks to be a horrible horrible one. There is sone form of major test/mock exam everyday. Even a Prelim paper(Orals)! *whhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeeessssss*
And having people constantly reminding me of stuff does NOT help. AT ALL.
Meah. Is it just me, or does the competition really seem to be incredibly... choking. I mean, suddenly I really see people's true colours. And they're not very pretty. Suddenly I find myself questioning my friends,not all, and their hidden agendas. Suddenly I feel that people get more gaurded, people I never would have ever imagined. Suddenly I am able to fill in the gaps with their lies and alibis and it fills me with upmost disappointment, because these were the people I once trusted. And, quite frankly I cannot understand, I really don't. So what if you studied? So what if you applied for this or that? Why is it such a problem that you have to lie to your damn friends? What good does it do? I just don't get it. And I really hate it, because suddenly I feel like I can't trust my friends anymore, and I do not enjoy this feeling.
I don't like this one bit.
What happens when Karma, turns right around to bite you?
When everything you stand for turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
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