Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Too tired to live

This is just a minor setback..






.....right?





The path that I'm walking, I must go alone

Friday, July 27, 2007

Bring me back to you

Hey stranger. So the week has been a pretty intense one, what with the sudden overload of tests and mocks and all. Other then that I guess everything's been going alright. I mean, generally it's been a pretty okay week. Interesting how the days are passing quick yeah?



The Simpsons movie, was fucking hilarious. Hahahahaha.. I'm cracking up just thinking about it.SpiderpigSpiderpig. HAHAHAHA.. Wait wait. HAHAHAHAHAA. Ok yes hi. haha.. Caught it with the Pau. It really is a very good movie. And the thing is we had our tickets for like..5 days? which means we had high expectations... and we weren't let down..AT ALL. If you don't watch it, you're a fucking square.



OK. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZcARG4s_qg&mode=related&search Watch it. Love it.



And moving right along.. Unfortunately for the likes of the people sitting around me in class, this week was Pms week! oh the joy. Hmm.. Actually it wasn't that bad, it was really randomn kind of moodswings, like on monday, I woke up and had this sudden urge to be incredibly different. So I created Different Day! So on Monday, I was nice, I apologised for being mean to Dode(who is not part of the world.), I actually listened to sonia's..crap(save for the dragon story) and a whole bunch of generally more significant things. I actually think I was generally a better person on Different Day, which is kinda sad. HA.



Today, I played with my donut water game when I got bored in class. Wow. Oh and I also realised that the class is so much quieter without Audrey around. Weelyn and I caught Soina looking rather morose, staring longingly at Audrey's empty table on Thursday. Haha.. The class was eerily quiet that day. In fact, it was kinda really really nice. HAHA.



Oh before I forget, Good luck for the performance tomorrow Drama! I hope it'll go well and y'all won't embarrass us yeah? (:



I'm so incredibly tired from just..living. And it's a far cry from the old days, when everything seemed so effortlessly. It's been getting increasingly difficult for me to keep awake in class now, let alone to concentrate and absorb whatever the teacher is hurling at me. And the horrible part is, most my time is spent studying for the thousands of tests we have or trying to catch up with all the homework that I have been falling behind on. No, it's not fun. It's not fun at all. And what really truly scares me, is that it's just O levels. Yes. I said it. It's just the fucking beginning. It's just the first step. It's nothing compared to doctrates and phds and all that other stuff. And here I am, struggling, struggling to get by, struggling to keep up, struggling to cope.


Sometimes I sit around and wonder what the hell I'm doing here.


Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable

Saturday, July 21, 2007

So much for Reverse Psychology

The same song has been replaying in my head over and over again all week long.


Well hello there. School's been pretty damn icky lately. In fact, I am so incredibly drained that I have problems remembering what happened. It's almost ridiculous. Buu and I were walking up to class on Wednesday and we were wrecking our brains, trying to remember exactly what the hell happened just two days ago. And to no avail! Like, I have absolutely no idea what the fuck happened on Monday. All I know is that I was in a bad mood, I was really peeved and I don't know why. Oh wait. Chinese Listening. Then on tuesday.... tuesday.... er.. HMM. Shit. Er, on wednesday there were history and chem tests.. Oh yeah! Ms Kang and her spiel, HAHA.. Mmm.. I clean forgotten thursday. Oh wait, erm Chem test. Friday was a maths one. Last night I was a tad miffed.


Oh. My. God. My days are now defined by the tests that I have. What the fuck happened? Everyone tells me that we're supposed to relish our secondary school days cos these could well be the best ones that we will ever have. And yet here I am, yet to hit the prime of my youth, with senile dementia! FUCK. I really do feel that it's because I am just so incredibly drained from just living that I have problems doing the simplest things, like keeping track of all the stuff that happens. Is that hard? Apparently.


I do rather vividly recall the number of times we've talked about JCs and Polys all week though. Frankly I'm so incredibly sick of it. Ironic that sometimes I am the one who commences said conversation. Truth be told, I'm just really insecure about it. What the fuck am I gonna do with my life. Rahr.


Next week looks to be a horrible horrible one. There is sone form of major test/mock exam everyday. Even a Prelim paper(Orals)! *whhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeeessssss*


And having people constantly reminding me of stuff does NOT help. AT ALL.


Meah. Is it just me, or does the competition really seem to be incredibly... choking. I mean, suddenly I really see people's true colours. And they're not very pretty. Suddenly I find myself questioning my friends,not all, and their hidden agendas. Suddenly I feel that people get more gaurded, people I never would have ever imagined. Suddenly I am able to fill in the gaps with their lies and alibis and it fills me with upmost disappointment, because these were the people I once trusted. And, quite frankly I cannot understand, I really don't. So what if you studied? So what if you applied for this or that? Why is it such a problem that you have to lie to your damn friends? What good does it do? I just don't get it. And I really hate it, because suddenly I feel like I can't trust my friends anymore, and I do not enjoy this feeling.


I don't like this one bit.



What happens when Karma, turns right around to bite you?
When everything you stand for turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?

Friday, July 20, 2007

40 and living large!

It's 20.07.2007



WOW.


Everything is alright if I just breathe.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Party like a Rockstar

Why do we do the things we do?


Well hello there. Is it just me.. or are the hours passing incredibly slowly.. yet the days seem to be whooshing by? Everyday I wake up and I realise that we're inching closer and closer to the big Os and the impending stress that comes with it. And everyday I realise that the amount of work I do decreases steadily. And I also realise that the pressing stress I feel, which results in the horrible strain in my neck, keeps piling up as I fall behind. And it scares the fucking hell out of me.



Thankfully there are random things to look forward to that helps me through the days.. like.. er.. stuff. HAHA. Hmm.. Yes, it has been a rather exhausting week.. I think it was from the Lit test that seemed to have drained me. I mugged for like three days and most of the stuff I memorised didn't really come out anyway.. and also for some strange reason there has been soo much talk about life after Os. Like, I know i think about it everyday but all of this week the never-ending questions have just been pounding in my head. But yeah back to the random things to look forward too....



Oh right! Sonia Cheong and I went to Haigen Dazs on Wednesday to get our treat. Hahah.. It was awesome. We decided on the chocolate fondue in the end cos everything else was just as expensive. And I was feeling kinda good cos I thought I could save money.. but I went with ten bucks and left with but a measly ten cents in my pocket. Like. Seriously. HAHA.. too funny. But yeah it was fun, as always (:



And of course last night right? HAHA.. The CCA feast thing? It was fucking awesome. Everyone thought it would be so fucking stupid and boring but anyone who decided not to go.. ARE FOOLS! hahaha.. Let's see... er... Went Sonia and Din at 6.30-ish. I was late. I owe sonia chocolate cos we made a deal that the person who was late would have to provide food as payment. Dammit. Haha... then a whole binch of peopl came and they forced us into the festival court. I guess we were dressed somewhat formally, as opposed to people who came in shorts.. or boardshorts.. But what do you expect yeah(: Haha.. Oh my! During Mrs Martin's speech, while Pau and I were pointing out the CCA seggregation... My phone started to ring. Like.. HELLOMOTO ring. Oh my god. It was too embarrassing larrr! It was so loud everyone started staring at me.. it was ethel. tsk tsk. HAHA





The party kinda sucked at first. Like.. the music sucked and the crowd was boring. but then they requested a song and things really started moving from there. Knowing us Drama/dance/insert-cca-here girls, we made Sonia P start the party.. haha (: And more and more people started getting in the groove of things and it slowly but surely became a huge mass of sweaty people dancing and singing along. rather embarrassingly I might add, especially if it's a long line of people head-banging with our fists in the air to... dance music. HAHAAH(: Yeah it was damn fun. And without even a single drop of alcohol! I even forgot to eat dinner. haha.. first time. (: oH YEAH! Ms Kang started dancing.. like OHMYGOD! It was so super funnnyy! hahaha..



By the end of the night, my foot got really really tired. Yeah I danced, swayed, hopped, jumped, twisted, ran around in heels all night(: Rather effortlessly I might add. So after the made us disperse(oh and singing the school song), Jessie Soniap Pau and I trudgedunwillingly off to Tampines, where we were supposed to watch Transformers. THANK GOD there were no tickets! AHAHAHAH... I told you I always get my way(: HAaha.. so we rather grouchily headed to coffee bean and sat around playing Truth or Dare til 1230. of course. HAHAHA.. It was too funnnyy. I'm cracking up just thinking bout all the dumb dares Pau and Jessie had to do... HAHAHAHAHAHA... stupid rules. I wish I could tell. HAHA(:






Yeah, last night really made my week. Like I was having a really crappy time all week.. and come to think about it, I haven't really been having much fun since mid-holidays cos of all the homework and studyin' and stuff. So yeah. Interesting.
Pictures?

















OH! Haha.. At any point of time you look at the tree of us, this is normally the face we're making. Notice Sonia's slow and sure transformation(HA) into DODE! (:
















EEEEE.. I'm making the same icky face! haha.. This is really bad




















Hahaha... I know you can see the Din. But can you spot the Pau?! HAHAHAHA















E for EEEEEEEEEEEEE (:




















Excuse me?!
Who said you can wear stripes too har?! hahaha.. stupid ned. I'm not telling you. ever.
And no one looks great after 2 hours of dancing.



















Whheeee.. haha.. I'm still glad you came Joy. i hope you had fun(:




















And to take revenge on the Pau.
I think this is real cute.















This one's my favourite(: Just some of my favourite people in the world(: HAHAHA.. Sonia, NO. HAHA.. Cheong really looks like she's about to take a bite outta me. Hahaha..
Oh yeah. Happy Birthday (insert-name-here)! Too many people la :D
ohmygod.sosuperrrhooottt:D
Think of me, don't think of me.
I really don't care.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Green and Mean

Do excuse that.




Today is GREEN day. Yes, I'm sure you're sick of reading the same crap over and over again so let's take a different, more meaningful take on it, shall we?




First off, yesterday we were all allowed to wear green to show our support for eliminating the climate crisis. Bet you didn't know that.. which brings me to this.. WEARING green doesn't mean you're GOING green. If wearing green is all it takes to save the earth then we wouldn't be in this damn predicament. If staging a large-scaled concert was all it took then we'd be living it up by now. Yesterday was just as I predicted it would be, people walking around wearing green on their shirts, socks, and god forbid, HAIR. It just became a big huge trend. I hate it. I mean, many people see it merely as an excuse to break away from the school uniform. I mean.. classes putting on some gimmick collectively doesn't mean you put in more effort or you're that much better. It just makes you uniform and tacky. So what if I didn't wear that much green? At least I know what it means. At least I actually try to prevent the weather from going even more bonkers.




No, I'm not a big huge earth lover. In fact, the only real reason I'm going green is selfish and possibly superficial. I can't stand the weather. It gets me sweaty and makes my hair frizzy. SO? At least I don't pretend to care about the damn earth. No, I'm not for ALL causes. I don't care for animal rights. I like animals but I like fur more. There. there's nothing to hide.




So if you wanna say I'm a hypocrite, go ahead. Sure, my dad drives two cars. Sure, I hardly ever take public transport. Sure, I have tendencies to forget to switch stuff off. I'm only human. But the intention is there. I hate it when my hair gets icky. But I still pride myself as a student, geography or not, who tries to keep up with what's going on. So, this is how we can try to help prevent the already devastating weather in Singapore from getting worse. Let's go green people, but only if you know what it means.














































Many of you own the Starbucks thumblers right? Well.. use it people! The reason they sell it is so that you can use them instead of the non-biodegradable evil we call plastic. PLUS.. we get a thirty cent discount.. take that GST!



































I did that today(: MMMM.. tea..










































If you own this many appliances in one room like I do(CD player, amplifier, two speakers.. and that's just for music), refrain from using it. You can always listen to music through itunes when you're using the computer. That way, less electricity is used and the heat produced is decreased!






























Or just watch TV instead! Sure, with cable that's two switches, but hey, it beats the amplifiers and what not.






























Speaking of which, turn your laptop or computer on stand-by if you know you're gonna be away forever. I've only recently started doing that and it makes me feel better (:















AH.. Switches. THAT'S a big weakness of mine. I always forget ti turn them off, especially the water heater, which generates a lot more heat than the energy saving bulbs I use(better for your eyesight. HAH.)















That's all it takes! Let's mend our ways! (:

















And of course.. the good old plastic bags. Sonia and I are rampant on rejecting plastic bags when they are not neccesary. Don't be shy, just tell the lady behind the counter that you don't need them if you're just buying sweets or a magazine. Or you could get a big tote bag, they're really in and will be for a while!
















And possibly the SIMPLEST thing to do, open the curtains! (My dad nags at me all the time) Turn off the lights in the day and open the curtains instead.. that was you get natural light and save on electrical bill!





Oh my. I must come across as a freak of nature(truely).. but oh well. I haven't been dilligently carrying them out but I always try to. So you should too! And maybe my hair wouldn't get that gross that quickly anymore and I would no longer be in that bad a mood and snap at anything that catches my eye.


Oh. and I just got back from Jo's party. Happy birthday! we all wore green :D HAHAHA

Let's go green, but only if you know what it means!



One day you'll turn around and realise
I'm not there anymore

Friday, July 6, 2007

Crop Circles in the Carpet


Just about sums up my week.
And when I need you, you're almost here
But I know that's not enough