Yeah intelligent input darling

Somehow things never seem to get as bad as expected; I have either perfected the art of over-exaggerating or I am just an incredibly lucky bastard. But then again I might just be speaking too soon but this is more fun than BMR so.. what the hell. Hurr. Money truly makes the world go round. And round and round and round. We'll be here once again I can bet, neglected and abandoned but always remember darling: This circle never ends. On a related/unrelated note, I feel freedom fast approaching yet at the same time I remain chained down by irresponsibility and stupidity. And school. Hawhaw. Epic wasted weekend; maybe everything is just happening way too often. We're too close now.

Me, and my head high

SO I MISSED THE DAMN STICK

I fucking hate school and every fucking thing else.

Bye bye blackbird

Trust is a dirty word. The recent divides I've watched with great amusement has left nothing but disappointment after disappointment on my end. Not that I am complaining anymore, seeing as it has also served as a very important reminder that I have lost sight of my solitude. Though it has once again seriously questioned my strength and ability to maintain friendly ties. And in that moment, that one epic moment that could have really just defined what this really is for us, I chose to laugh. I am a whimp, but I learnt that all from you. How much longer can I run that way before everything catches up and on? I would say it is rather justifiable though, since we all have something to run to and you are no different. It's all just a stupid show put on for ourselves and for everyone who flirts in and out as they please. I don't have much to hide behind anymore and I don't mind.


I know you're real good

This may not last but this is now

Lying is the most fun

Now let's not get selfish

Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?

No one understands me like you do

Somewhere in there, I know full well. Here's the truth, I have never really been the daft one. It is a long stretch to say that I am a realist, seeing that my life would have turned out a lot simpler and quite frankly incredibly boring. However, I have also never been much of a dreamer. Always been the cynical one, watching from this pedestal I mount myself on and passing unfair judgement. Yes, I am neither wildly attractive nor the most pleasant to be around, I have never been ashamed to admit. Ironically, I am both supremely arrogant and semi self-conscious. To say one never needs is the biggest lie that one can ever convince themselves to believe. To say that I am somehow superior to everyone else is yet another lie. I too need, as much as I am too disgustingly proud to admit. I too lose; sight, games, life. It's inevitable that I too end up in situations where I find myself up against forces I know I cannot beat. Feelings are our number one weaknesses. Insecurities are stemmed from truth. Time is a losing game. Understanding is so easily fucking overstated. I feel like I have lost myself.

Images of broken light

I say don't run from yourself

To say this week was a heck of a joy ride is such an understatement. Illness has allowed me space from school and left me suffocated at home and everywhere else. Yes that is me K.O.ed on a couch. Emotions run out of line and out of context too many times as I struggle to empathize. And for once, I am actually fucking impressed. Ah change is not my friend. There is never anything to do or say anymore. Except maybe that money thrown around really isn't everything. I am such a walking contradiction. Stony silence. So as true escapees, it eventually leads to an eccentric ride of eclectic emotions. Erroneous elation versus echoing emptiness. Irritating. Hahaha. I tricked you. God I am so witty. Heehee. Fuck you BMR and other miscellaneous things slash gut feelings slash relationships that bring me down down down. Maybe we should just stop running cos time always catches up. I feel like I am in such a rut. Well, back to school.

You can't take back what you've done