I thought I knew you so well

You sure have changed since yesterday

So we gather, normally over coffee free or otherwise (Bend low bitch), we sit around enjoy the company, enjoy the atmosphere and how could we forget, the view(!) Then the night turns and I fade out a bit, get a tad quiet. Or when a comment lingers dangerously at the table coupled with uncomfortable silence and the mutual understanding of the unintended effect. That's right about when everyone asks the ever-redundant question "Are you okay?" or my personal favorite, "Oh Bi.." paired with a quiet sigh and the distinctive look of concern, pity and quite frankly exasperation in their eyes. To which I'd normally reply politely that I'm fine and we'd be on our merry way. I am fine, really. Lately I've just been.. troubled, but mostly by superficial and frivolous thoughts like what to wear to school or whose going where with me when. My mind has been in an awful clutter ever since the prospect of school starting rearing it's ugly head. It's screwing with my mind I say! But hey, it's a completely different yet somehow exactly the same experience. Old friends, new problems, anti-socialism and school food! Hahaha. What a random random train of thought. See I warned you about the clutter!

Sappy pathetic little me,

That was the girl I used to be,

You had me on my knees.

What I don't know won't break my heart

In the midst of everything,

I honestly don't give a flying fuck.

I don't know how you can't see that.

Ignorance is bliss.

And I wish that you would just

Shut up.

I wish we could switch up the roles,

And I could be that.

My life is a competition and I only win with material goods.

I already know what my addiction is.

So I am back, I have survived the Melamine! Haha. I will post the photos soon when I am feeling less..space-y. Well, let's see. "Labels or Love" pretty much soundtracked my brave journey across the sea, battling emotional hiccups and everything else in between, all alone at that! Haha. I really am lucky and very grateful for all the everything I get to do and spend. Throughout the trip I realised that I am indeed an exact replica of my father and well I'm quite okay with that. My third trip there and I am still loving every bit Hong Kong has to offer! Only downside was perhaps that I got pick-pocketed but all's good. Plastic and gum is decidedly a lot messier than it sounds! Oh and this time I realised that every other couple is gay and that..amused me. Hahaha. Not forgetting throughout the trip I have been having rather.. queer dreams, only to wake up, look around and have it hit me that some dreams come true. Though their not always the ones that leave us.. content, to severely understate it. Haha. I have a lot of new things. SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW OH MY GOD. Actually it's only one hour so..whatever. Hahaha!

A little voice inside my head said,

Don't look back,

You can never look back

You'll never see what you've done to me

When I get back,

Everything will be different.

Everything will be exactly the same.

Truth be told, I'll miss you.

Truth be told, I'm lying.

I wanted us to be always

You think I'm fly, don't cha?

Haha. I am running away tomorrow and never coming back. Gosh I still have yet to pack! Or mentally prepare myself for the plane trip alone, which might prove to be scarier than I had imagined. My thoughts are in a jumble. I have so much dread. School is an issue, it needs to die. I feel like I have been orphaned what with my responsible parent being non-existent on this island. I could have died on the streets of Changi last night and no one cared. Creeping home just before the crack of dawn was essentially useless, I might as well have paraded in reeking of the pleasant scent of chalets and it wouldn't have made a difference. Pffft. I don't want school to start. Please don't make me turn seventeen. I am so fucking broke, where the fuck has all my fucking money gone?! ROAR. I won't be sporting metal for the next four days. It feels empty, so much change.... What were we talking about again?

Now you'll never see,

What you've done to me.

You can take back your memories,

They're no good to me.

Close my eyes and wonder what it's like

I don't want to regret not living out every second of my youth. 

Then again,

I don't want to regret screwing up my life trying to live.

These confusing thoughts are running through my mind,

Because school is starting in a week

And my holidays are over.

I feel different.

I've lost my place,

I'm close behind.

You did this to me

"You know, there's a girl who literally has a shard of glass in her heart"

Secretly.