I didn't know if I'd find you

It's the end of the first week, which was basically two days of doing nothing because things are still in the process of getting set up. I'm still feeling quite conflicted, but I can't give it a fair call until I get my hands dirty. So it is. Tonight's fit (and the last couple of weeks) has me reconsidering what I want my future to look like. I suppose there was a time when I wanted it all,  but nowadays.. hmm. I'm like Gatsby (the lazy edition): "my life has got to be like this, it's got to keep going on". Sadly, the future is something I can predict. Only time will tell what will happen. On the other hand, I can tell where this, me and you, is going if things continue this way.. as they have for years now. Tonight's fit (that seems to have been bubbling under the surface for a while now, for me at least) served as a timely reminder of what priorities we/I/you have in life. I'm not sure how much longer I can live with the fact that I'm simply not on any list of yours at all. What's the point really. I'm both annoyed and wounded by your nonchalance, to put it lightly. It's not that I don't know what you're like, or how to deal with you or all of those things.. but it's not right. It's not like I'm asking for the world, to be driven around or demand things or all that kind of crap. I'm simply asking for you to be reasonable, to deal with things in a mature way and to give me the time of day when I fucking deserve it. More importantly, I urge you not to be fucking ungrateful that I'm easy going. Honestly. You need to step your shit up. It's literally. Literally. The least you can do.