I would love to say that this feeling is an uncommon one for me, especially at this time in my life when things are supposedly going fucking peachy. The truth is I feel this frustration and disappointment and paranoia fucking often and sadly, it's only been getting worst. I don't know if something happened... or worst, but I fucking hate the way this feels. The last month has seen me feeling progressively more unhappy and this is something I can't run from anymore. I'm not a child, I understand how these things work. It really has been a long time and maybe that deadline wasn't just in my head. Things get too comfortable, too familiar. Trust me, I know. And I can't even begin to stomach the idea of someone else. I always knew this was coming, but I can't stand feeling this way. It's not right. I'll never be ready for it. I just hope I'm wrong because I can't see myself without you.
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